Happy Anniversary to Me

Guess what? June 15 is my one year blogging anniversary. I made it! When I started I wasn't sure I was going to keep this interest. I am surprised and impressed that I have followed through with the hobby and I think my writing skills have increased over the last year.

I find it very freeing to be so open with my friends and family in this forum. Some have said (my brother in particular) that I share too much and that I should be worried that I am being judged. I feel that he was the one judging at that moment, but more importantly I don't care. I feel as I have been much more introspective this past year. I am trying to look at what is inside of me to help me become a happier and more fulfilled person. It you would have asked me two years ago if I would try online dating I would have said you were crazy. I would have thought you were insane if you said not only was i utilizing an online dating service, but I was also sharing my experiences with friends and family. I don't think I used to be this open. BTW...nothing interesting going on there.

The secondary part of being so open is it has allowed me to become less judgemental of others. I think I used to have a hard time with this and I often felt if people were not like me they were wrong. How deluded I was! I am not saying that I am still not judgemental on occasion but I do think I have made giant strides forward.

So Happy Anniversary to me and I look forward to another year entertaining you with my stories.

Drug Addiction

No, not me...Silly. I was thinking about my mom. Ok...I think that my brother Lou is probably not going to like this post....so stop reading it!


Let me start at the beginning. Last week I was listening to the new Eminem album Relapse (BTW...I love it), specifically the song "My Mom". Part of the chorus is "My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs" and it made me think of my mom in a different light. I began to think that she may have been a drug addict. I don't mean this in the way that she smoked crack and pot all of the time. She was more interested in the legal prescription version. Just like Eminem's mom she loved her Valium and she referred to this as her nerve pill. Ok...I don't actually know if it was Valium that she took, but it was that type of pill.


I have so many memories of hearing her say, "I need my nerve pill" in reference to any type of upsetting situation. Most of the time this revolved around dealing with us children, I probably (probably is a mild word) wasn't the easiest child. I am fairly sure I had an enormous amount of attitude and typical junior high girl behavior. This occurred as far back as I remember.


Secondary to the nerve pill she took lithium and this completely zoned her out. Lithium is used for Bipolar Disorder and it is supposed to level your moods. It just made her a zombie without any readable feelings. I remember so many holidays were she wasn't at all engaged with people because she took a combination of these pills so she could distance herself from people. It is interesting to me that I could be so different from her in this respect. I love being around people and it energizes me to spend most of my free time around my friends. I think that she liked being around her friends but she just couldn't deal with being around the family. Ok...maybe we are the same as my family often stresses me out.



It is interesting to me that I have never thought about this before. I was always aware of her problems and my friend AL was always impressed with my ability to accept my flawed parent as an adult. I guess she meant that I was able to recognize the faults and I had learned to deal with them. I don't have any proof, but as an adult I always guessed that she didn't take the medication as prescribed.



In addition to manic depression she was also an alcoholic and loved the cigarettes. To this day I still cannot understand how I managed to become an adult without any of these problems. However, I am addicted to the food, but I would take that addiction over the others. How did I stop the cycle? What about me was different? I haven't figured out how to answer these questions but I am grateful that I am different and I am working on my addiction.

Europe 2009 - Wednesday May 6th 2009

We got up early to take the Eurostar train to Paris on Wednesday morning. We had assigned seats on the train and they were set up like airplane seats and fairly comfortable. I think the train ride was a couple hours long and everyone except for me and Marcus took the opportunity to take a nap. I decided to talk to Marcus and hold my book in my lap the entire train ride. I had the illusion that I was going to read but I much preferred a conversation over a solitary activity. Marcus is moving to Paris this summer for a job and we spent a long time talking about how that would work. I then spent some time fantasizing about how great it would be to get a job that paid for international travel. Perhaps one day it will come true.

After we collected our luggage and grabbed a quick lunch (a hard....a very hard...baguette sandwich with Salami and butter with a Coke) in the train station we got on our bus for a quick tour of Paris. They drove us up the Champs-Élysées and pointed out all of the expensive shops and stopped for some photo opportunities at the Arc de Triomphe and the Eiffel Tower.

While we were at the Eiffel Tower several street Gypsies came up to us and tried to sell us trinkets. I was standing next to Steve and he told them firmly to go away. The gypsy took offence and they had a bit of an altercation on the street. There was yelling and male aggression. There was no punches but I felt like it came close. I walked away as I don't like to see people in these tense situations and it made me uncomfortable.

We got back on the bus and the tour guide drove us all over the city. They were just giving us a general orientation so we could choose where to go on our free time. The tour ended with the bus dropping us off at our hotel, The All Seasons. This was my favorite hotel of the entire trip. It was very modern, bright and aesthetically pleasing. The best part was that the beds were very soft and comfortable.

This was Gretchen's bed and mine was right next to hers, literally toughing it. It was just really a king size bed split in half with a small partition dividing the upper 1/3 of the bed. Don't you love the colors.

Look at this...the bathroom sink has some character.

This is the shower area. There was no curtain just this orange plastic partition covering the first half of the tub. I was amazed to find that very little water escaped the tub area.

This is the lobby area.

That is Naph acting all sorrowful in the lobby. Don't you love the chairs.

This is the ceiling in the lobby.

After we got settled into our rooms, Gretchen, Naph, Rogers, Jason, Marcus and I headed out to find dinner and to visit the Louvre Museum. We ended up picking up various items from street vendors. I stopped by a bakery and started my meal with a scrumptious strawberry tart and then I went next door for a mixed salad and coke. I love having dessert before my meal.

After our food we got on the tube and headed over to the Louvre museum. Yes, THE museum from The Da Vinci Code. I had visited it once when I was in there in 2000, but I was excited to see it again. Before we even entered the museum we had some fun on the grounds. We took some very funny photos. I kind of think that the time we spent there was way more fun than the time in the museum. Part of that has to do with the pain in my ankle increasing as the end of the day nears. It is about 7:30pm when we arrived at the museum.

OK, I don't know what we were doing in this photo. But it appears that Jason and Naph are about to become engaged. The background is the museum building.

The famous Louvre pyramid.We decided to create our own pyramid to have in front of the actual pyramid. Yes, Gretchen is feeling me up. I was told later that I had my left arm in the wrong place, I guess it should have been on my hip. I am not properly schooled on pyramid making techniques. Of course Rogers was worse. When we asked him to get down and be on the bottom of the pyramid he got on his knees facing the wrong direction. We eventually got him fixed. I was very impressed that the boys were so willing to participate in our silliness. The two photographers are tired after our fun.

When we finally entered the museum it was set to close in an hour so we had to strategically decide what to see and do it very quickly. We headed up to see the Mona Lisa and a few other things and we got lost a few times. We even ran into other people from our group. By the middle of the museum my ankle was just totally wore out. I decided to leave my group and head back to the hotel by myself. I was glad I did as I was no longer feeling fun and I just wanted to put my leg up and ice my ankle.

I arrived back at the hotel without incident and conned the bartender out of some ice and went to my room to relax. Everyone else went back to see the Eiffel Tower lighted up at night. I don't feel that I missed much as Gretchen brought me back photos.

I felt like I had a very good first day in Paris.

Europe 2009 - Tuesday May 5th 2009

This day was a blur for me. I think that the pain in my ankle was catching up with me and I couldn't locate any photos taken this day.

This was our business visit day. We visited the Bank of England. We went through their museum and were shown a film on how inflation works. This topic was very interesting to me but I think that I zoned out during the film and I had a hard time engaging.

After the visit our bus took us to the Harrods area of London and we had an hour for lunch. We wondered around for a bit but it was hard to find a place that we all agreed on for lunch. We ended up eating in a big shop that had several different small shops. I think I had a salad and a some sort of weird local pop.

After lunch we wondered down the street and found a local coffee shop. We sat in there until it was time to meet the bus. While we were there Gretchen made friends with this old local man who ended up giving her several small gifts. These gifts included a rose, perfume samples and lotion. It was funny.

Our next stop was a business visit to a brewery. I was in excruciating pain so I decided to stay on the bus and rest. I tried to read but I ended up lying on the back seat and taking a short nap. The bus driver wondered on and off of the bus during this two hours and we had some dialog. He showed me how the bus company tracks his driving with this little card that he inputs into the bus and it tracks his time and speed. He also told me a bit of his dissatisfaction with working and his company. I guess work dissatisfaction transcends the world.

After the tour we went back to the hotel and Naph and I decided to eat dinner in the pub. There was a football (soccer) game on TV and the pub was packed and noisy. Every now and then a big cheer would go through the room.

I felt that it was a wasted day for me as I was unable to concentrate all day.

This photo was from Monday but I just found it on Gretchen's Facebook page.

More Biking Fun

Today I accomplished one of my summer goals. I biked thirty miles with three of my friends (we missed you Ems). Doesn't that sound crazy and impossible! We did virtually little training to accomplish this goal. Basically, it was just me saying last weekend that we should do bike a marathon and we did it. Up until this point my maximum distance was 16 to 17 miles total distance.

We met at the Greenway at 146th Street in Carmel and we biked to the end of the Monon at 10th Street. Everything below Broadripple was boring and uninteresting. We got to see several abandoned warehouses and the back end of the Indiana State Fairgrounds. We even passed a police officer twice as we were riding.

We finished the day at Bub's restaurant for a diet Coke, burger and fries. It was exactly what my body wanted. This was an excellent way to spend a beautiful Saturday afternoon.

Stats:

Time: 3:12 actual riding time
Distance: 30 Miles
Odometer: 136 Miles
Average Speed: 9.3 mph
Max Speed: 19.6 mph

Europe 2009 - Monday May 4th 2009

Monday, May 4th 2009

My second day in London started off on a very good note. Naph, Gretchen and I decided to go for a morning walk in this little park that was a block from the hotel. We all got dressed in our athletic gear and headed off to the park. Gretchen is super athletic so she wanted to go for a run, while she was running, Naph and I took a leisurely stroll through the park. We had great conversation and he would occasionally walk and do leg squats while we were talking. Gretchen lapped us several times and we eventually gave up and sat on a park bench engrossed our conversation while Gretchen finished her workout. I am not sure if this was considered "encouragement" or not.

After we had breakfast and got dressed for the day we headed off to the British Museum for a quick hour visit. We were able to see some of their highlights and the most notable was the Rosetta Stone. I kept us on a strict time line and after our hour we started walking towards the tube. We all were in need of a beverage and snack so so we stopped in this quaint little coffee shop. When we finished we again headed toward the nearest tube and then splat.

I had fallen down on the cobblestone sidewalk. I let out a huge scream and I found myself lying on my right arm with my left ankle in extreme pain. Gretchen and Naph immediately came to my aid and started probing my ankle to determine if it was broken. I sat on the sidewalk for a few moments stunned that this had happened to me. I got up and was happy to discover that I could still walk. We hobbled forward and I tried to decide if I should go back to the hotel or continue on our day. With encouragement from my friends and Motrin I decided to say FU to the pain and we continued our journey.

We decided to head off to the Knotting Hill section of London to visit a Winston Churchill museum. We got off of the tube and started wondering around looking for it. We kept consulting the map but the museum was nowhere to be seen. We ended up at another large park and we saw a cute boy playing soccer. Gretchen wanted to get a photo with a local boy, so we walked over to him and tried to make friends. He was young and very muscular. We said Hi and found out that his name was Edwardo and he was from Brazil. The local boy we approach turns out to be a tourist. Just our luck! We pose and take a couple photos of him. As we were posing with the soccer ball I grab on to his muscular arm when I almost fall over. Naph was very impressed over my groping of this boy.

We say our goodbyes and head out to find the museum. We start to walk up and down these very lovely streets that have very nice buildings. We encounter an older local man who has lived on the street for the last thirty years and he has never heard of the Winston Churchill museum. We realize that we are going to have to give up soon. We try one more avenue. We spy a small hotel and decide to step inside see if they have any information. After a fifteen minute discussion and Internet search we left with no more answers and decided to give up. This was very difficult for me as I like to accomplish what I set out to do.

We couldn't resist taking a photo of this storefront.

It was time to eat again so we stopped by the local McDonald's and grabbed some fatty but tasty lunch. While I was waiting in line for my food a local women asks me if I know how many zeros are in one million. I am sad to say with my fancy accounting degree and MBA it took me three tries to get it right. FYI, there are six zeros.

Our next destination was to visit the inside of Westminster Abbey. We caught the next tube and headed in that direction. We arrived and wondered around for a bit and found the church at 4pm. As we got closer to the sign we realized that the church closed at 3:30pm. I was so disappointed as I really wanted to see the inside. A passerby said that we could go inside if we wanted to pray so I went up to the guard and asked him if we could go inside to pray. He told me that the next church service started at five pm. We were denied! We did feel a bit guilty trying to lie to get inside of the church as we had no intention of praying.
We decided to give up for the day and head back to the hotel. I was in a great deal of pain and I was over it. We got back on the tube and traveled to our exit. I am sad to say we got lost on the walk back to the hotel. My ankle was throbbing but I think that we took a two mile detour. It was very annoying to get lost at that time.

When we finally arrived back we took a half hour rest period and went to dinner with some of our new traveling friends, Marcus and Jason. We ended up at a French restaurant and found many of our other traveling companions eating in the same restaurant. We had a lovely dinner and great conversations. We headed back to the hotel and ordered some drinks at the hotel bar. I thought alcohol would help dull my ankle pain. It did! But, we were soon kicked out of the bar as it was closing, so we smuggled out our glasses of beer and took them to Marcus and Jason's room to hang out for a while.

Even though I sprained my ankle and we missed out on two of our major destinations, I had a terrific day wondering about London.

Gifts

I am sick of buying gifts. I attended my nieces graduation in Wisconsin this weekend and I was in total denial of the occasion and I didn't want to purchase a gift. You see, I have eleven nieces and nephews, three in-laws, three siblings and a myriad of friends. I just don't want to spend the money anymore. I am not sure what to do to lower this cost without being considered cheap.

I would like to get them all Birthday, Christmas, Graduation and Confirmation gifts, but there are way too many children. I want to stop the madness. I wish I was more creative and I could make them things, but that is not my gift. Instead of buying them gifts on their birthdays, I can spend time with the ones that live here, but what about the ones that live out of town.

I headed out for the weekend with no gift in mind and no card. I occasionally thought about it on Saturday and Sunday morning, but I took no action to purchase a gift or get a card. Finally, after the graduation ceremony I decided to stop at a drug store to get a card and I was going to include a check for $50, but I was still feeling resentful about giving her the money. I knew it just wasn't in my budget. At the last minute I decided not to give her money but to give her a pair a diamond earrings that I have in my gift closet. I felt that this was a good resolution and I told her I would give them to her when they come for a visit over the July 4th holiday.

I found a way to resolve this gift giving occasion without spending money, but what do I do for the next birthday? Any ideas?