I got Inked

 Earlier this summer I decided I wanted to get a tattoo.  A friend talked about wanting to get an additional tattoo and I immediately thought that I wanted one also.  I guess that means that I am a follower;)   I have one existing tattoo of a flower that I got about 12 years ago and I have always had a desire for an additional tattoo but I never felt passionate enough about anything to put it permanently on my body.  I found and embraced that passion this year.  

When I first thought about a tattoo I thought about getting something associated with Star Trek. The best thing I found was the insignia symbol on my boob.  Sexy huh.

Ohh...but I do kind of like this wrist thing.  Hmmmm....maybe my next one.

I began to think about my passion and how I would like to incorporate that into body art.  I started looking for bike tattoos that were feminine and that were not too utilitarian in style.  It took some time but I finally found some designs that I really liked.  After I chose the initial bike design I wanted to put something pretty around the bike. I found another tattoo that had some pretty leaf work and I considered merging the two designs into one tattoo.

The tattoo artist didn't especially like the "pretty" stuff I brought.  He decided he was going to stencil on the image of the bike and he then took creative licence with the vines and flowers.  This is the photo of him drawing the design on my leg.

I 

Eeek...the needle has pierced my skin.

I think it was a good thing that I wasn't close enough to really see what he was doing.

Look at those delightful swirls.  It is coming along.

Look Look Look I got a new tattoo this week.   Isn't it pretty (I say this with a goofy smile on my face).

Thanks to Ems for taking all of these photos as well as Metamorphosis in Broad Ripple for having a great staff.

How to tempt a fat girl….

I was sitting at my desk today with my stomach full of mini-burgers, onion straws, French fries and chocolate volcano cake feeling very (over) full and not at all thinking of food when my co-worker walked by with a bag full of candy. Friday is my companies annual Halloween celebration and on that day each department selects a theme and dresses up. In the morning everyone goes around to trick-or-treat at the other various departments and views their costumes and decorations. This year the company decided to provide the candy for each department several days in advance. Jerks!

Damn it, all that candy is going to sit in our communal supply cabinet all week. Each bag of candy is sealed and all afternoon I have tried to think of the best way to break into the bags and grab a few boxes of Dots. I don’t know why I am obsessed with the Dots when there is Peanut Butter Cups and all kinds of chocolate in the bags. But, I really really want the Dots.

I wonder if I could bring in a razor blade and slice open the end of the bag and then bring a lighter to seal it back up. This wouldn’t end badly…right?

Quitting is easy….continuing through the WIND is hard

Another Biking Event

Is it possible you are tired of reading about my biking antics?  Are you worn out from the gazillion miles I have ridden and how every ride is harder than the last.  Yep…this is going to be more of the same.

Last weekend I attended the Great Pumpkin Metric in Evansville.  My companions and I drove to Evansville on Saturday morning (this might be considered afternoon to most people but you know how I like to sleep in on the weekends) past many cornfields and I got to see a gigantic peach out in the middle of nowhere.  We spent a pleasant evening with Em’s parents and went to bed early.

Sunday morning dawned quite early…um 6:30…yuck and I was showered, dressed and at the breakfast table by 7am.  Em’s mom made us a delightful Egg sandwich and on my second bite I managed to squeeze out yellow egg into my hair.  I knew that was going to be an indicator of my upcoming day.

When we initially decided to attend the event we were all excited to do the 100K, but we did have a choice to do either 25K, 50K or 100K.  Em kept talking about changing our minds and taking a shorter route but Z was determined to stay on course.  I think I could have been swayed to go the shorter route if that was the group opinion but Z never waffled/wavered so we stuck with the original plan of 100K.  BTW..100K is 62 miles.  That is right, 62miles on my bike.  Every time I even think about that distance it sounds slightly impossible.

The day was cold and windy and cold and windy.  I knew soon after we started that it was going to be a long and tough ride.  The temperature was 40 degrees when we departed and I heard that it warmed up but I never felt an increase in temperature.  There was some nice hills in the beginning and it helped my legs to get warmed up.  I arrived at the first SAG stop shortly after Em and Z and I was glad to see them again as I was worried they may have missed a turn.  The first stop was about 12 miles into the course and while I was snacking I took a look at the sheet and made a mental note of the upcoming stops.  One at 27 miles, 40 miles, 53 miles and then the end. 

We started the second stage and I quickly lost my companions.   The wind was pushing me back so I put my head down and I kept pedaling as I knew that it was going to take a ton of mental toughness to finish the event.  I wanted to finish.  I wasn’t interested in quitting.  Let me say this again I WASN’T GOING TO QUIT!  I just kept pushing up and down and during this stage my speed slowed down and I found what ended up being my consistent cadence for the next 50 miles.

When we hit the second stop at 27 miles I was exhausted.  There was a gigantic hill just before the stop that was .2 mile long.  I know that this doesn’t sound long but when you are almost climbing vertically it appeared to be never ending.  I think Z told me it was the equivalent to 3 football fields in length.  As I saw it I shook my head and I realized that I didn’t have enough strength to try and power it up to the top.  I gave a token effort and then I decided to walk the rest of the way.  Let me say that is was hard work to even walk to the top of the hill.  I was very out of breath and fatigued.  When I made it to the SAG stop I got my snack of trail mix and Gatorade and collapsed on the ground until I was told it was time to move again.

I kept up with my two friends for about half of the next section until we reached a hill and my legs told me that it was already too much for them to push through the hurricane like winds and they objected to a hill climb as well.  I didn’t walk up this hill but I stopped at the base and caught my breath and then about half way up I stopped again.  My legs just weren’t interested in moving.  I hadn’t realized that there was someone riding behind me when I stopped.  Oops my bad.  He got around me but it was a close call.  I made it to the top and I kept pedaling and pedaling and pedaling. 

It was about this time that I needed a distraction and I decided singing would help me.  The problem with singing is when I bike and I am working so hard that I close my mind to other things. It is in a blank gooey slate.  No talking, no daydreaming and no thinking.  Just existing.  So when I decided to sing I had a hard time thinking of songs.  The only song I could think of was “Darling Nikki” by Prince.  Seriously…I just kept singing it over and over.

As I was about to arrive at the next Sag stop at mile 40 I considered collapsing next to my bike until it was time to leave again.  I imagined that it was all I could do.  Since I was worried that my companions would insist that I take a van back to the start and not finish I chose to stay vertical and not give them any indication that I couldn’t continue.  So I arrived and pretended to be OK.  I wasn’t.  Then I had work to do.  They had a big banner set up that you could paint on.  I was only capable of writing my name as my brain was mush.  I pushed some food in my mouth and waited for my friends to tell me that rest time was over.  This sag stop only had people who were doing the 100K and I felt that there was some nice camaraderie while we were there.  Everyone looked extremely exhausted from the wind and grateful for a break.  I talked to a few people and then we pushed off.

As I was riding I kept looking at my odometer and wishing that it would move forward faster.  I wanted the miles to go by.  I was soooo tired.  My legs were only moving because my brain was yelling at them.  Do it..push…do it…push.  I was feeling miserable and tired and alone and about seven miles into this stage I saw a mirage.  It was my two friends on the side of the road waiting for me.  But it wasn’t a mirage they were really there.  I was so happy to see my people.  As soon as I arrived I told both of them I was so happy to see them and I wanted to give them great big hugs but I would refrain because I was dirty.  I guess I get a bit emotional when I am spent.  It really helped me have a change of attitude and increased my spirit to see them.  It gave me the drive to continue on to the next stop.  It was only 7 miles away.  Push…move my legs up and down…push the pedal.  Damn…it was hard but I was determined to finish.

Mile 53 eventually hit my odometer I arrived at the final SAG stop.  I saw the most beautiful thing as I was riding in.  CHAIRS!!!!  It was the best site ever.  I went to the food table and I loaded up.  I had cookies, chips, Gatorade, and some other stuff.  All I remember is I had a lap full of food to consume and I was starving.  I didn’t wear my heart rate monitor but I suspect that I burned about 3000 calories during the ride.  As usual the rest break was short and it was very hard to pick myself up from the chair.  Em looked at me and asked if I was was oK…I said yes…and then she said are you sure and then I said No.  But what could I do.  I was determined to finish and I wasn't going to wash out.  I DID NOT want to be driven back to the beginning at mile 53.  I would have hated that and I would have been a bear to live with.  I would have moaned about quitting and failing.  I am sure that would have put a damper on the weekend.

Soon the three of us reluctantly started the final portion of our long journey.  It took forever to finish.  The three of us stayed fairly close together for this last 10 miles and I think it helped push me forward.  Conversation was minimal and our only thoughts were of the finish line.  The best site all day was the sign for the Vanderburgh 4-H center.  I was so happy to be at the end and still on my bike.  When I got off my bike I jumped up and down with joy and gave everyone a high 5.  The day was a success.  Even though this was the most grueling ride to date the satisfaction I felt when we were done was surprising. I felt like I could do anything at that moment.  I finished the ride in 5 hours and 45 minutes for 66 miles. That was a long ass time to be on my bike.   

I got to wear this pinned to my back for the entire biking event.  On occasion someone would come by me and say my name and then I had to try and figure out if I knew them.  Nope...it was just friendliness.

Because he was Pretty

Humiliation is a humbling thing.  Especially when it happens to me.  This is a story of the worst possible pick up line in the history of pick up lines.

I was at a bike event on Saturday riding next to my companion and we were very close to the end when a very cute man passed by us.  I waved and said hi to him.  I was a bit taken aback and I even commented to my friend that I thought he was super cute.  This is something that I rarely comment on.  I see it and notice it but I don’t usually vocalize my appreciation.

A while later we had finished the ride and there was three of us sitting at the end of two tables enjoying our lunch.  We were talking and having fun when the cute man sat at the table next to us.  I should mention that two of us were at one table and the other person in my group was at the second table.  So my position in the chair was facing the other table. 

This is where my companions lost me in the conversation.  I just kept staring at the guy.  Creepy right?  I sat there trying to come up with an opening line.  Apparently, my brain lost its power to process information the longer I looked at him.  During my five minutes of contemplation I am sure I "appeared" to be interested in my conversation but right now I have no idea what we were talking about.  Bad Candy.  Sooo...finally there was a lull in the conversation and I had an opportunity to ask the cute man a question.  

Wait for it...this is it.  Eeek...this is really embarrassing to say out loud....ok...ok..

"Can you tell me about the charity on your jersey, living strong....I read a blogger called Fat Cyclist that is often advertising for them."

Soooo...there was about 3 seconds of shocked silence and then gigantic bursts of laughter from both of my companions.  I am pretty sure one of them was almost rolling on the ground in hysterics.

The pretty man mentioned that it was Lance Armstrong's charity (you know America's most famous cyclist) for cancer.

OMG..OMG..OMG..OMG..OMG..OMG

Then he motioned to the yellow wrist bands that he was wearing.  

  How could I possibly ask a stranger at a cycling event such a absurd question.  What the F is wrong with me.  The worst part was that I didn't really know the answer.

After this my friends closed the circle again and I really never had another opportunity to talk to the cute man.  There was no recovery.  Couldn't one of my friends help me out?  They were terrible wing men.  I need to train them better.  Or myself.

So it is quite apparent that I have no game.  I would even say that I have a -8 game.  That bad.  Why couldn't I ask some simple questions like:

How was your ride today?

How many poker cards did you get?

How long have you been cycling?

I told this story to a friend today and she offered to make me some index cards with appropriate questions for future events.  With my luck I would do something even worse like pull them out and read off of them.

I did learn two lessons on Saturday.  #1.  Keep it simple and don't think too much.  Act normal and ask normal questions.  #2.  I am now somewhat knowledgeable about livestrong.org.

***While I was writing this entry the song "Where Was My Brain" by Ted Leo and the Pharmacists played on my iTunes.  Irony at its best.

Don’t give up don’t quit don’t do it…don’t give up don’t quit don’t do it

I went on an organized bike ride a couple weeks ago with a group of friends to Harrodsburg, Indiana.  I was wavering back and forth about going and the decision wasn’t made until 9:30pm on Friday night and I had to be a friend’s house by 8am the next morning.  I am so glad I made the decision to go.  This ride was a bit South of Bloomington and a bit North of Bedford.  Basically, hilly country.

There were three routes we could choose, hard, harder and almost impossible.  I chose to go on the route with the group….guess what they chose.  That is right, Almost Impossible.  Sigh! 

There were five of us on this epic adventure.  I didn’t know what to expect when we left the start area and I am sure that was a good thing.  I just thought it was going to be your average 30 mile bike ride.  Not so, as I quickly learned.  The first three miles were eye opening.  Horrible.  Terrible.  Hard.  I mean really really hard.   What I mean by hard was a constant up and down.  There were no flatland.  Just long uphill’s and exhilarating downhill’s.  But honestly, all I remember are the uphill’s.  Those are the rides where I wished I had a fancy GPS cycleometer and it could tell me my total ascent.  But I don’t have that cool toy yet so you just have to believe me when I say there was zero flatland.

After the first three miles I resigned myself to the remaining 27 hard miles.  I just kept pedaling up and down and up and down.  I had assumed that the group was going to drop me quickly as I am a slow hill climber.  Not so…I would always find them waiting patiently(??) for me at the bottom of  descents or the crest of a hill.  I was always happy to see them in the distance and have a reason to keep moving forward.

There was a very awesome downhill section that allowed me to get my bike to 36mph.  Seriously…36mph.  The adrenalin was so worth the tough ascents.  I loved it.  Flying down the road at my top speed and enjoying the wind in my face and the carefree attitude of someone who thinks she is invincible.  I know this isn’t true but I still feel that I am.  Emotions have no logic.

Soon after the awesome downhill section I found the first hill that made me want to quit and cry.  It wasn’t particularly steep but just long.  It went on forever.  I kept telling myself to pedal. Turn the crank.  Move my feet.  The little cheerleader in my head kept repeating: “You can do it.  You can do it.  You cannot quit and walk.  You can do it.”  And I did.  I made it up the hill and I was so excited.  Spent but happy to be done.

Somewhere after the start of the ride one of my companions discovered that there was no sag stops on this ride.  None!  I don’t think anyone was prepared for this to happen.  I forgot my water bottles and thankfully someone loaned me theirs.  I brought no food and I ate a small breakfast.  The lack of food was a real problem around mile 20.  My body wanted it and I had none to give it.  This is where things began to go wrong.

We got to a beautiful section of the ride that crossed the dam.  It was pretty and we got this picture.  We took a little reprieve with little knowledge of what was in our immediate future.  We turned a corner and discovered a mountain in front of us.  I am not making this up, it was a mountain.  I found out later that cycling groups use this hill as training and they call it the “alps”.  W.  I knew quickly that there was ZERO chance of me making it up this hill so I hopped off my bike and I started walking up.  Walking..walking…walking.  It kicked my ass to walk up this hill.  I was breathing hard and my heart rate was very elevated.  I think three of the five members were able to ride up the hill. Kudos to them as it was not my time.

The last 10 miles were a blur to me.  I just kept telling myself to keep going.  My body was so done.  But as I never saw one sag wagon the only way back to my car was on my bike.  So I kept going.  At one point E rode up next to me and started a conversation.  I was talking but breathing really hard.  Really I think I was gasping and it was a little hill by comparison but I was spent.  He looked at me and told me it was OK to take a break.  It never occurred to me to take my own break. I was always concerned that the group was waiting on me and I didn’t want to hold them up.  I took a little break and it helped.  The little hill didn’t feel nearly as tough when I gave my heart and legs a bit of a rest.

There was one other hill that I walked up.  I don’t think it would have been too tough on a normal day but I was d-u-n.  There wasn’t much left in me.  I just pushed the bike up the hill and rode it down.  Close to the end we passed by a gas station and we could smell fried chicken.  OMG…it sounded so good.  I wanted to go in and stuff my face but I refrained and we kept going to the end. 

We parked about a mile from the building so after we ate we still had to haul ourselves back to the car and damn, it was uphill.  Suck!  But I made it back.  It was a good but very challenging day.  I had never been on a ride of that type and it was nice to challenge myself.  It felt good to know what I am(was) capable of doing when I set my mind to it.

Conversations

I went clothes shopping yesterday and I had the following exchange with a stranger as we were paying for our items.

S:  I really want this DKNY gray sweater.
C:  It is divine isn't it.  You should buy it.  I am getting one.
S:  Um...did you see the price.
C:  No, I didn't look at the price on any of my choices.
S:  You might want to take a look.
C:  Eeek....it is $89.
S:  Now  you see my dilemma.
C:  I still think it is beautiful and you should buy it.

Seriously.  Do I think I am a Rockefeller?  I didn't look at the price and apparently I didn't care as I still bought the item.  In my defense I had several 50% off coupons so the bottom line price was actually $44.  That was a much more palatable price.

OMG...is it awesome!

Last week brother Lou came over to see little Jadzia and we had the following conversation about my old iPod.

L:  What are you doing with your old iPod?
C:  What?  It's mine.
L:  I know whose it is but I was wondering what you were doing with it.
C:  You CAN'T have it.
L:  But, you are not using it.
C:  It doesn't matter how much I use it.  It is mine.
L:  Seriously,  you have a shiny new one.
C:  It doesn't matter as it is MINE and I am not sharing.

I assure you that old iPod is still on my coffee table.  Apparently, I have a bit of an attachment to it;)

Vacation Debate

I have two vacation opportunities for 2011. I want to do both but I know I cannot afford both as well as I don’t have enough vacation time. It is time to make a decision. The first opportunity popped up a few weeks ago and it is a trip to Australia and New Zealand with my university. The second trip would be a weeklong visit to Paris with a friend. Both trips are very appealing to me and they each have pro’s and con’s.

Paris

Pro’s
Really dig into the Parisian culture

Pastries
Cycling around the city
Only 5 days of vacation
Time spent with an old friend

Con’s
Not a new vacation
$3000 max (much better than Australia…and I am not sure if this should be a Pro or a Con)

Australia/New Zealand

Pro’s
Kangaroos
The Great Barrier Reef
Surfing

This could be me in 2011

Cute Australian men with heart fluttering accents
Guided
Business Visits
Great company
New New New

Con’s
$5500 or more….
10 days of vacation at once

Every time I look at the lists my natural inclination is to say F*uck it and go to Australia. But the really big problem is the money. I have been making some progress with my finances this year and I have been working my way out of credit card debt. This kind of trip could set me back. I have thought though a plan to pay for this trip with cash but it doesn’t quite cover it. It would require me to be disciplined, and let’s face it that isn’t my strongest asset. I would have to take every penny that the roommate gives me and diligently pay down my credit card each month. This gains me about $4000 by the time of the trip. So I would also need to keep up the discipline for several months after the trip as well as mentally committing to keeping the roommate for at least another year. Is living alone again worth skipping a super awesome trip? IDK…

I have been to Paris twice in the last ten years and just like NYC it garners multiple visits. I am sure that the city has many things that I haven’t seen and experienced. Taking a full week there would immerse me in the culture and allow me to really feel the city. The friend who wants to go is fluent in French and she has lived there on multiple occasions. We travel well together and have very similar ideas about what makes a great vacation. This would be a nice alternative to going to Australia and it would be significantly cheaper. It would take me much less discipline to pay for this trip with cash and I know I would enjoy the time with my friend and the time in the great city.

Honestly, I am really leaning towards Australia and I guess I am trying to decide if I want to be boring and responsible with my money or live a little reckless on the financial side.