Having an easy going persona at work is hard. I don’t want to let
every little comment I hear bother me and I try to give people the benefit of
the doubt. However, something
uncomfortable happened at work a week ago and I can’t seem to shake it. It made
me aware of my ego and how important the way I’m perceived at work is
to me.
Several executives and I were copied on an email from a co-worker
about a problem with an employee. The colleague was trying to keep me out of
the correspondence with the employee and she dealt with it herself. In doing so
she referred to me as the "AP Gal" in the body of the
email. EEK....stop the buss. “THE AP GAL” I DID NOT LIKE THAT! Why would she
say that?
An “AP Gal” refers to the person at a company who processes the
accounts payable. I have only ever seen women perform this job. I wasn’t
offended by the gal part but more by the AP part. This person usually has an associate’s
degree or lower and the average pay rate is about $12 an hour.
I was once an “AP Gal”. It was my first accounting job and it was
a good way to get my start out of college. However, I’ve worked super hard to
advance my career. I finished my bachelor’s degree and started my MBA while I
was the “AP Gal”. After I finished my MBA I have steadily progressed my career
to the point where I am at today. I am now the Staff Accountant for a health
care company. We are small so I currently perform a variety of tasks including
the lower level AP data entry to high level implantation projects.
My mind started to race at 100 miles per hour. Is that how she
thinks about me? Does she really know what I do? Does she know I have an MBA? Does
she know that an "AP gal" is perceived as a lower level
job? I've had those kinds of jobs and I've worked hard to move forward and
progress my career. I know that I may be
sensitive to that term. More importantly I know respect comes as a perception
at work and not from the actual quality of my work. I don't want my co-workers
or superiors to see me as a low level employee and I don't want to give them
any reason to not respect me.
My intense reaction to those two little words surprised me. I
hadn't realized that my ego was so large. I try to be low key. I’ve known
several people who like to put all their credentials behind their name no
matter how miniscule. I don’t want to be the kind of person who finds that necessary.
I want people to recognize my skills and knowledge base without my having to
advertise my education or credentials. I don’t want to be cocky or to be known as
the egotist at work. That isn’t the image I want to present, however, I don't
want to feel belittled or degraded.
I’m glad I recognize how my ego can get out of control. I’ve
learned how much a few simple words can hurt my feelings and demolish my self-worth
in my head. Now that I am conscious of my sensitivity I can try to squelch it
before it gets out of control.
Unfortunately, I was still thinking with the emotional part of my mind
couldn't let it go. Every time I saw the person who used those dirty words I
cringed. On Thursday afternoon I saw the word offender walk by my office and I
waved at her to come in and chat. We talked about a few work problems and we
had some pleasantries and then I said it plainly. I told her that I didn't like
how she referred to me in the email and I would prefer to not
be referred to as the “AP Gal” in the future. My confrontation
surprised her and she tried to explain her actions.
I accepted her explanation and I don't think
she used those words to offend me. And to my surprise she seemed
receptive to the uncomfortable conversation. I appreciated her
not taking offensive at my directness.
I don’t want to be offended by the incident and I don’t like what
it said about me. As far as I understand the co-worker did not have bad
intentions. I try to evaluate a person’s intentions before I judge them. Generally
speaking I don’t think people go out of their way to hurt others intentionally.
I think I knew in my heart the she wasn’t trying to look down on me but I just
couldn’t stop the negative emotions from surfacing.
I’m glad I acted like an adult in this situation and I confronted
her. I think directness is easier to handle than the bitchy passive aggressive
behavior of many of my co-workers. It has helped put the bad feelings behind
me.
I feel like this entire situation was a good learning experience. I
am glad I recognized the extent of my ego as well as how sensitive I am about
my work status. I know I can work on being more confident in the future. Furthermore,
I am pleased that directness worked for me in this situation. Human reactions
can go positive or negative so quickly and I was happy/surprised with her
positive reaction to my directness. Some people appreciate it and others don’t because
they loathe confrontation. However, I think it is more palatable to me to be
direct than it is for me to hold bad feelings inside. It is just important to
know when it is appropriate and when it isn’t.
