Coke Zero...Diet Coke...Cherry Zero

I miss you and I think about you all the time.  I sit at work with my head on my hand dreaming of your fizzy wonderful taste.

Seriously, this is what I do.  I think about it all the time.  I gave up pop about three weeks ago and I would have thought that the cravings would have been gone by now.  Not so.  How could the addiction be so strong.  I haven't caved but this is one of the hardest things in my life right now.  I wish the thoughts would go away. 

Jeez...if this is how I feel about pop I cannot imagine kicking cocaine. I am glad I never started that bad habit.

Small Steps

 I am an emotional eater.  Sigh. That is the cold hard truth of things.  For the last few months I have been very upset by something in my life and per my usual MO I have been eating out of control.  I NEED for this terrible pattern to stop.  Therefore, I have decided to implement a series of small steps that will enable me to get my eating back on track.

The first small step started last Monday.  I decided to quit drinking pop.  It was tough but I knew it was a good decision.  I decided to start with pop because I knew I was very addicted to it.  Um...Diet Cherry Zero ruled my life.  I always wanted it in the mornings and at lunch and and in the evenings.  I was drinking it all the time.  Then....they opened a McDonald's by my house and I started to stop every morning for a 32 oz Diet Coke (OK...I also got a breakfast sandwich).  This went on for a few weeks and I knew in the middle of was creating a very bad habit. 

So the pop stopped first and I was successful.  I have gone an entire week without drinking a carbonated beverage.  Woo Hoo!!!   It feels good to have control of that little aspect of my life.  But, I am not sure where I what to draw the beverage line.  Is the purpose of zero diet pop to eliminate Aspartame from my diet?  Can I still drink Crystal light?  I have been drinking it but I do sort of consider it on the same level as pop.  It adds unnecessary chemicals to my body.  Is it better to drink something with regular sugar and add the calories or should I just strictly drink iced tea, milk and water?  I haven't decided yet but I am in my "thinking" mode.

Today is the beginning of week two and I decided this weeks small step would be for me to bring my lunch 4 days this week.  Ugg...this is so hard because it really cuts into my socialization at work.  I love hanging out with my co-workers during lunch.  We enjoy talking and catching up.  I have tried to convince a few friends to bring their lunches but I am not sure it will really work.  I know the first time I am asked out when I have my packed lunch is going to be very hard for me. I know I will want to go out with them but I will have to say NO.  I have considered the idea of taking my lunch with me when they go out and it could work at some locations but not others.  Subway and Starbucks are easy because they have outside seating but a regular restaurant might not like that to much.


Now is the time for me to plan in advance.  I am not sure what direction I want to head for next weeks small step but these are some things I am considering.

1.  Eating dinner out only 3 nights per week
2.  Tracking my food (Ugg...I really hate hate hate this idea)
3.  Limiting desserts
4.  Eating a fruit or vegetable with every meal
5.  Eliminating fried foods
6.  Ok...I am out of ideas...

Do any of my loyal;) readers have any ideas for me? Any helpful hints?  I know I am not usually successful when I am tracking my food because I become obsessed with the food.  I am trying to make small changes that will help me in my long term weight loss goals.  I don't want to implement anything that isn't sustainable in the long term. I know overall healthier eating is going to be my long term solution but I just need to get there.

Emotional Eating

Sometimes it is easy for me to be in denial about my behavior. I like to think that I am a rational and logical person. I also like to think that my problems with eating have nothing to do with my emotions. I AM VERY WRONG!!!!

I had an extremely bad day at work yesterday. There were harsh words exchanged and I was upset all afternoon and through the evening. I exercised after work as normal but, when I got home at 7:15 I invaded the kitchen. I was overcome by a food demon and this is what I ate:

Frozen Pizza - 3 small pieces reheated
Chips - I opened the bag and began to eat, I don't know how much
Cookie's - 8 peanut butter cookies
Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich
Macaroni and Cheese - individual serving

I was finally done and my stomach hurt. Why would I do this. I could hardly move the rest of the evening after I ate all of that food. Unfortunately, I wasn't quite done with the food nonsense. Today I managed to eat McDonald's for two meals. For breakfast I has a Sausage McMuffin sans the egg and at lunch I had a fish sandwich, fries and a cookie. At least I stayed away from the burger to keep my pact with ems.

Tonight I had the 5K training at work and afterwords I decided to go to the Push It class at the gym. This class is an hour long group personal training and it is TOUGH! The instructor is a nice version of Jillian from TBL. I felt very drained and sore when I came home, but also very satisfied with myself. It was much easier for me to make better choices for dinner.

Even though I have been working out six days a week lately I don't think I have been pushing myself enough. After tonight's work out I definitely believe I am capable of more. I think I am going to dump Monday's light training in exchange for the weekly Mandy beating.

The moral of this story is that I am going to try to become more aware of my emotional eating and try to stop it before it gets out of control. Ugg...I didn't feel good after I ate all of that food.

Food Decision

I have struggled with controlling my food the last week. I find it very difficult to consistently purchase and prepare healthy foods. I will become motivated for a week or two but it is so easy for me to slip back into my old lazy habits of going out to dinner or ordering a pizza.

I haven't gone to the grocery store in over a week and I have nothing ready to pack for my lunch tomorrow. It makes me feel very overwhelmed to prepare a menu, and then buy the food and then cook it. Yikes! I can tell you all day long what I should do, but consistency is not my friend.

While I was sitting on my bed avoiding watching The Biggest Loser (so I wouldn't feel bad about myself) I got an idea. I utilized this service called Seattle Sutton's Healthy Eating twice in my past with varying degrees of success and I am considering signing up again. There are definite advantages and disadvantages to this service.

Advantages

Fresh Food
It doesn't taste like crap because I overcooked it
Calorie Controlled
No Thinking or Grocery Shopping
Food Delivered to my house twice a week
I wouldn't be able to eat out because I would have already purchased my food.

Disadvantages

Cost
No Choice
I wouldn't be able to eat out
Cost

The cost is really the biggest disadvantage in my mind. It is $129 for a 1200 calorie plan and $149 for a 2000 calorie plan. This cost is per week and doesn't include the delivery. Currently, I should be eating 2000 calories a day, so if I choose that plan I would be spending $600 a month on food without groceries. Just so you know...I am already spending $600 a month on groceries. But this new cost wouldn't include household supplies. I really think that this could be really good for me. I really DO NOT NEED to eat out anymore. This is where I get all of my extra calories.

When I utilized this service in the past I did find myself throwing away some of the food because I did go out to eat a couple times a week. A second option would be to go with a half week delivery service. This would involve me getting just one delivery a week and I would need to prepare the rest of my meals.

I feel so indecisive. On one had I feel like I need to say Fu*k the money and do what is good for me, on the other hand I think if I just practiced a bit more discipline I could do it on my own. This second strategy has NEVER worked for me in the past. I am not sure that I have the discipline to control my food and continually cook and I rarely enjoy cooking.

UGGGG...so what do you think I should do?

Nutrition

Weekly Update

I lost 2.2 pounds this week.


Monday

1900 Calories

Personal Training for 45 Minutes
I don't think that I turned on my heart rate monitor for this work out.

Bike Ride for 44 Minutes
306 Calories Burned
Heart Rate Zone 20 Minutes

Tuesday

1804 Calories

Wednesday

2615 Calories
I ate at Outback steakhouse for dinner and had a steak, bread, vegetables and cheese fries. I also had one of their small desserts. Peanut butter pie...YUM.

Thursday

1898

Walking 45 minutes at Lunch
Burned 396 Calories
Heart Rate Zone 20 Minutes

Biking for 1 Hour and 24 Minutes
Burned 745 Calories
Heart Rate Zone 20 Minutes

Friday

2155 Calories

Saturday

I did not count on this day. I went to Chicago and I ate out every meal.

Sunday

I am currently at 1300 calories and I will most likely eat another small meal.

Bike Riding in the rain and mud
Duration: 3 hours 19 minutes
1227 Calories Burned
Heart Rate Zone 30 Minutes
I think that I could have worked harder on this ride.

Nutrition

Weekly nutrition update!

I feel that I did better this week and I was more in control of my food. I just bought a new digital scale at BB&B tonight so I will also include those weekly stats.

Weight Loss

I weighed myself last Wednesday at work and the difference between last Wednesdays and today's weight is 4 pounds, but it is a different scale and a different time of the day. I will start weighing myself on Sunday mornings to make it more consistent. BTW the term morning is variable for me because it meant 11:45 today. I had to rush to get ready for my biking adventure.

Monday 07/06

I didn't track my calories on Monday and most of the day was OK, but dinner included Papa Johns' pizza.

Tuesday 07/07

2440

Calories Burned
293 Mowing Lawn 36 Minutes
840 Biking 1 hour 43 minutes

Total 1133

Wednesday 07/08

1980 Calories

Calories Burned
290 Bike Ride
I didn't track but I took a 45 minute brisk walk at lunch.

Thursday 07/09

2115 Calories

Friday 07/10

1964 Calories
I ate out Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner and snack. I was very happy to stay within my daily calories. I did have two vodkas and diet Cokes and I am not sure how many calories that included.

Saturday 07/11

I didn't track my calories for the day but it included a 10 inch Bazbeaux Pizza and a Tagalong blizzard from DQ.

Sunday 07/12

I am at 1100 calories but I still need to eat dinner. I am sure I will stay within my range.

Calories Burned

1741
3 hour bike ride
I was in my heart rate zone for 1 hour 52 minutes.
Max HR was 203 and the average was 149.

The lady at the gym said that the heart rate monitors have a accuracy rating of + or - 10%. So I either burned 174 more or less. But either way I feel like I kicked ass today. It was definitely a good bike ride. I only exercised three days last week and I would like to fit in one more day next week. I just need to add it to my socializing schedule.

Nutrition

This is my weekly nutrition update.

Monday 06/29
2228 Calories

Tuesday 06/30
2206

Wednesday 07/01/09
2791
A midnight snack of a peanut butter sandwich and a pudding took me way over the edge. I guess there was chips and ice cream too.

Thursday
2500
Ate a half order of Nachos at a Mexican restaurant. I estimated 1400 calories but I really just don't know. The rest of the day was good.

Friday-Sunday
There is no more journal and it wasn't pretty. I guess the stress of having my relatives at my house and the holiday goodies got to me. I think there was pizza delivered to my house on Sunday night. I received a coupon from Papa Johns for a free large two topping pizza. I guess they were worried about me because it had been so long since I had ordered a pizza. I let them know I was OK. So I finished off the remaining three pieces for dinner on Monday night, but i was much more in control of myself today. Also, I purchased a heart rate monitor today so I will be able to update you on my calories burned through exercise.


This week I will need to watch the eating out. I have plans for a movie and ice cream outing on Wednesday. I will plan for a low calorie dinner to allocate enough calories for ice cream. I also have plans for PF Changes on Friday night and I will check out their website for the healthiest option. There also might be beer on Friday night.

This week will be a challenge but I am back on track for my food journal.

Daily Calories

Total Daily Calories 2050

The two hour bike ride felt good tonight. I like the heat.

Daily Calories

Total Daily Calories 1450

I am not done eating yet. I am going to get some sort of snack that involves peanut butter in a few minutes. It was a good day but I am tired. I went to a Burn and Firm class after work and only put in about a 60% to 70% effort.

Ok...I am going to try to think of something else to write about soon. I realize that I am stuck in a rut.

Daily Calories

Total Calories 1855

A few weeks ago I went to the doctor for an annual check up and she drew blood for a variety of tests. I got a call from the nurse last week saying some things that I already knew. My good cholesterol was a bit low and my bad cholesterol was a big high. No need to worry, but I need to keep an eye on it. She also suggested that I start taking fish oil pills. I still need to buy some but I have been procrastinating.

The other thing that she checked was my sugar levels. My first test came in a bit high at 118. She said that amount could be considered pre-diabetes. She wanted to recheck my level so I went into the doctors office on Monday morning for a repeat test. It came back fine and there was nothing to worry about.

But, the thing is my dad developed Type II diabetes in his 40's and I feel that I am right on track to follow in his footsteps. It always seems to be something I would want to ovoid and not know the answer to. I guess the doctor is on alert and will be checking me on a yearly basis. As much as I would like to blame this on genetics I would have to blame myself and my poor eating habits. Perhaps the blood draw was good on Monday due to my new found interest in healthy eating. I hope it is working.

Daily Calories

Today's Total is 1895

I faced couple challenges today. I had a sausage Mcmuffin no egg from McDonald's for breakfast and a slice of Pizza from Sam's club for dinner. I did have plenty of fruits and vegetables with my lunch and snacks.

My biggest challenge today included my old "Candy Bar Club". For a time period of about a month, three of my co-workers and I created a Candy Bar Club. This involved buying four candy bars and then handing them out to the other members and yourself. This usually occurred three times a week. I was basically eating three King Size candy bars a week for an afternoon snack. Much to the chagrin of my club mates, I quite two weeks ago. Two of the members are trying to keep it alive and the person who sits next to me brought in six candy bars today and left them lying on her desk out in the open.

This included a Hershey bar with nuts, a Kit Kat, and Reece's Peanut Butter Cups. Have I ever mentioned that these are my three favorite candy bars? It was killing me all day to have to walk by them. But, I said no as I know I had a fast food breakfast and there was pizza on the horizon for dinner. I was doing good until I went back to my desk at 4:15 and the Hershey bar had jumped to my desk. I practically yelled, "Who the Fu*k put this Hershey bar on my desk!" I was very upset as I didn't want it in my vicinity. I did put it back, but it was sending me over the edge.

I had my second personal training session today with Hadley and she was great. My legs are still aching!

Daily Calories

I am currently at 1720 calories for the day. I am going to have another small snack in a bit and that should take me up to about 1900. I did it again! I stayed inside of my daily calories and I even turned down an offer to eat at Texas Roadhouse. You know I really wanted to eat there, but I would have totally blown my day. The rolls alone would have killed me. I want to save my cheat day for next Saturday when we are going to Bloomington for the day. I am sure there will be wine and a scrumptious place to eat.

After biking today for 2 hours I decided to go to my brothers house to wash his car for fathers day. When I got there he didn't want me to touch his precious BMW under the guise that he washed it on Saturday. So I washed Tracy's car instead and as soon as I began my arms were killing me. I guess this is the result of the horrendous car waxing I did on Saturday. It was all I could do to finish the task and I think I was moving like a snail.

Next weeks extra activity involves balls. I guess I will have to encourage the children to play soccer with me a couple times. I am sure Taylor, Paige and Sarah will be up to the challenge.

On an odd side note I got sunburned in the funniest place today. I forgot to put my watch on today and that little 1/2 inch spot on my left wrist is bright red. I found it vaguely amusing.

Daily Calories

I was able to stay within my calories today.

Total - 1908

I prepared a pasta dish for dinner that was about 700 calories and not very good. I will eat the leftovers but I don't think that I will make this again. I went out to lunch today and went to the Ale Emporium. I ordered their Breaded Pork Tenderloin sandwich and switched out the fries for a salad. I ate about 1/4 of the bun so I estimated that the pork was about 450 calories, the bun 100 calories and the salad with a light vinaigrette was about 50 calories. I did break a M rule because it was fried. I didn't even think about that when I ordered it.

I feel like it was a pretty good day.

Nutrition Counseling

I had my first appointment with Mandy on Tuesday evening after a grueling Push It class with her. I was excited about this visit because I had anticipated it for a month. We had a good honest talk and I tried to fill her in on all of my bad food habits. These are some of the things she gave me advice on.

1. No more eating in bed. (ohhhh...I really like doing this)
2. No more eating in front of the TV. (This is going to be difficult)
3. Drink a minimum of 80 oz a day of water. (I can handle it)
4. Fried foods are forbidden.
5. Limit of two diet Cokes per day. (Ya...I don't have to give them up completely)
6. Must eat breakfast every day. (I always do)
7. Eat at least every 4 hours.
8. Eat a protein source with every meal. (New to me)
9. Keep a food journal. (A necessary evil)
10. Minimize eating out.


She gave me a goal to loose 8lbs by July 16th and put me on a 2000 calorie a day diet. OK...nothing here was a revelation, except maybe eating a protein with every meal. This visit cost me $55 and I had original signed up for a six meeting package for $219. However, because of difficulties with my flexible spending account I couldn't prepay for this service. So upon my first visit I decided to pay for the service as I use them.

The thing is I am not sure I need it. My good friend Nicole hinted this to me but I didn't listen to her. I talked with her for a couple of hours a few weeks ago and she told me most of these things already. I am a smart girl and I already know most of these things. I just need to put them in practice. The first step is the food journal. I started keeping one a week ago on a website but I have since found that it is much more difficult than keeping an old school paper journal. Me and old school technology this is quite a contradiction.

I was scheduled to have a home visit from M to view my pantry and fridge and help me get rid of the wrong foods. I decided to cancel this service because I don't think that this is my problem area. To be honest I don't buy that many groceries so there isn't that much to look at. My problem with food doesn't have anything to do with what is at my home and in my pantry. It has to do with my large quantity of eating out and consequently what I am choosing to eat when I am at the restaurants. Perhaps if one of my sensible eating friends wants to come and view my pantry I wouldn't turn them down.

I told M in my email that I might like to add a couple half hour visits and I think that I would like to talk to her more about eating out. Of course I still think I know what do do here. I know how to look up nutritional information online I just have to consciously make these decisions.

Her email back to me was fairly scathing. I don't think that she thinks that I am making the right decision. But it is my money. She also recommend an hour grocery store visit. I think that this might be a good idea. I could use more ideas in this category. I just want to feel that I am getting something out of the money expenditure.

I was thinking I could utilize my online friends to help me be accountable on the eating front. I would post my daily calorie intake and perhaps that will help me be able to stay within it so I don't embarrass myself.

Today emotional eating reared it's ugly head. I had a visit to the dentist today and after I was done I stopped by CVS and bought some comfort foods. I got a 2L of diet Coke, a Reece's Peanut Butter Cup and a pint of Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup ice cream. I ate the Recces on the way home and I then ate the pint of ice cream for dinner at 9pm after my nap. Isn't it interesting how I can rationalize behavior as I am doing it. "I don't feel good...my mouth hurts...I deserve to eat ice cream for dinner"

This is how I have done this week:


Wednesday (06/17) 2372
Areas of Improvement:
9 Oreo Cookies
480 calories

Thursday (06/18) 2848
Areas of Improvement:
Pint of Ice Cream for dinner
1000 calories


I have only eaten one meal out this week. I went out to lunch on Monday. That is incredibly good for me. I plan on going out to lunch tomorrow and I will make good choices.