Flat Tire

Bam! That was the sound of my tire popping on I69. Crap. It was 10pm on a cold and snowy Thursday and my night was about to suck.

When I hit the hole there was a horrible booming sound and I knew I had a flat. I didn’t even get out and look because there was only one possible explanation for that sound, a flat tire. It was time to call Brother Lou. After the second consecutive call he picked up his phone and asked "What's up?”. I said, “emergency, Emergency, EMERGENCY. I have a flat tire on I69. Can you come and help me?” “Do you have roadside assistance?” Lou asked. Sigh! “No.”

Damn it. I’ll be honest. I may have lied to Lou. I didn’t really know whether or not I have roadside assistance. I know I don’t have AAA. But I don’t know if anything is included with my auto insurance or loan. I just didn’t think that 10pm on a cold Thursday night was the time and place to find out. I promise to make that a priority on Monday morning ;)

I began to get upset. The cars that zoomed by me at warp speed were scaring the crap out of me. Every few minutes I would look into the rear-view mirror and think a car was going to smash into me. Stupid overactive imagination. My hands had a death grip on the steering wheel while I waited. I was extremely relieved when Lou arrived about 30 terrifying minutes later.

Lou and I took a quick look at the tire and shook our heads at the baseball sized hole in it. We were screwed and we had to make a decision. Was it better to drive on the holey tire and on the rim or was it better to risk death and try to change the tire on the side of I69? On the plus side the holey tire was on the passenger side of the car. However, there was no light and there was a steep downward slope at the edge of the emergency lane. Plus the high speed traffic terrified me. I hated even being outside of the car. We decided a bum rim was better than death and Lou was going to drive my car the three miles to the next exit for me.

The long trip to the exit began with me intending to drive behind him and I got in the right lane of I69. However, he continued to drive on the side of the road. I was perplexed. Why didn’t he get onto the road in front of me? After what felt like ten minutes (two or three in reality) he stopped my car and I pulled over behind him. He got out of the car and yelled at me for being dumb and dangerous. Apparently, it wasn't a good idea for me to drive in the right lane at 20mph. Duh. I gave a nervous giggle and told him I would stay in the emergency lane with my hazards on. Yep, I had turned them off. WTF was I thinking? Apparently, I wasn’t using my brain during this emergency.

This should be a good time to tell you that I don’t always handle emergencies well. I appear to be calm and relaxed but that is misleading as my brain turns itself off and I make poor decisions.

While we were talking I saw my brother’s large nostril began to twitch. Something smelled bad. Apparently, part of my tire was burning up as he drove it down the road. Lou decided the best solution was to drive the rest of the way to the exit in the snow. He thought this was a good way to cool down the burning rubber.

It was time to drive again. Lou drove with the right tires in the snow and I drove on the emergency lane with my hazard lights blinking at 20mph. Every 100 or so feet there was a metal pole sticking from the ground and Lou would swerve to move out of the way. During every swerve the car would fishtail and I thought my problems would be larger than a flat tire and possible bent rim. However, he continued to drive in the snow swerving and fishtailing.

Dear reader, please be the judge. Which sibling gets the award for the most ridiculous decision? Damn it. It’s me isn’t it? Driving on I69 at 20 MPH still makes me the big winner.

Several long painful minutes later we hit the promised land and we were on the exit ramp. Lou quickly found a good place to park the car and he began the laborious activity of changing the tire in the cold and dark. That was the easiest part of the adventure but the cold was most difficult part of the chore. The tire was easily removed and the donut fit perfectly.

Sigh. One day and $150 later all was fixed. While we were changing the tire I removed the front floor mat for Lou to kneel on and somehow we forgot to put it back in the car. I was a bit upset about losing it because they were custom mats they were very pricy. On my way home Friday night I drove by the tire repair site and my mat was still on the ground. Score!

Lou and I were safe and my car was safe so it all ended well. Plus, I learned some valuable lessons. A. It isn’t a good idea to drive on the highway at 20mph. B. Driving the car in unstable snow near poles could be bad. C. Flat tires suck. D. Roadside assistance is important.

BTW…a big hug to Lou for helping me on Thursday night. I really appreciate his gallantry and knowledge. Everyone should have a selfless and caring little Bro like Lou.