Men V. Women

I went to a Christmas party last weekend. There were about 15ish people that attended and it was even split between men and women. When I arrived there was an important college basketball game on the TV and everyone was sitting around the living room in silence with their eyes glued to the screen. I got a couple snacks, took a seat and watched the game with everyone else.

After the important game was over a second game started. People began to move around but several people stayed in the living room watching the TV. I had a few more snacks and I began conversations with the two women seated next to me. About 20 or 30 minutes later I noticed something interesting. All the other women were gathering in the kitchen.

My two female friends and I quickly got up and joined the other ladies in the kitchen. As soon as we left the living room the other men who had less than desirable seating in the living room moved and took over our spots and then we were segregated. The men were lounging on the couches and the women were standing in the kitchen. I did not expect that to happen.

The unspoken social convention of keeping the women in the kitchen was alive at this party. It wasn't on purpose but it was natural for the women to not be very interested in the sports on the TV. It wasn't as if the men were preventing us from hanging out with them but it just happened.

It was fascinating to me. I wouldn't consider the couple who hosted the party to have strict traditional gender roles. I don't think this women makes dinner for the man every night. They share in the tasks. However, I can't speculate on what happens when no one is watching;)

I don't consider myself a feminist. I don't really want to mow the lawn, take care of the car or pick up dead things. I don't mind cooking meals or laundry but I would never consider myself to be a caretaker to anyone. I like things to be (sort of) equal.

However, this phenomenon at parties fascinates me. Why is it so natural for people to segregate themselves at parties. I understand that part of the separation stems from the fact that many women have similar interests and things in common. But when we are segregated why do we (women) always end up in the kitchen. Why don't the men end up there? I think it is because as much as we deny it we still self sort ourselves into gender roles. It is just the way it is.

I try to buck the system. I know I stayed in the living room much longer than the other women but it didn't work. The separation still happened. Next time I am going to try and stay in the living room and see what happens.

Math + data = good decision

Big decision to make this week.  I thought I already made it but now I am on the fence.

It is insurance renewal time and I must decide whether or not to participate in the traditional PPO plan or utilize the high deductible HSA plan.  My physician has suggested that I do a sleep study because she thinks I have sleep apnea.  The tests average cost is $5000. Gulp.  I had already decided to hold off on taking the test till 2013 so I could move to the PPO plan so more of my expense would be covered by my insurance.  However, now I am not sure that is the smartest decision.

My yearly premium with a PPO plan is $1920, however, it is $1080 for the year with  a HSA.  That is a $840 variance.  The sleep study is going to cost about $5000.  My portion under a PPO plan is $1800 and under the HSA plan is $3000 (my entire deductible).  My job also gives me $500 per year toward my HSA.  This takes my total 2013 expense for PPO to be $3720 and my HSA to be $3580.  With only that information I would save $140 for the year by going with the HSA.
 

	PPO	Health Savings Account	Variance
Premium	1,920.00	1,080.00	(840.00)
Sleep Study	5,000.00	5,000.00
CDS Portion	1,800.00	3,000.00	1,200.00
Novia Health SA		(500.00)
Total Out of Pocket	3,720.00	3,580.00	(140.00)
Additional Per check Deposit	104.17	114.58
Premium per check	80.00	45.00	Up $10 from 2012
Total health cost per paycheck	184.17	159.58
Total Current Payroll Deduction	60.00	60.00
Total Additional Per check	124.17	99.58
Yearly Amount	2,980.00	2,390.00

So...the math tells me to go with the HSA.

However, I don't know what I don't know.  What else might happen to me next year.  If I max out my HSA delectable in January everything (except for meds) are 100% covered for the remainder of the year.  However, if I stuck with the PPO plan I could have additional co-pays for the remainder of the  year even thought I reached my $1000 deductible.  Plus my max contribution to the HSA is $3250 ($500 from my employer and $2750 from me).  That just barely covers this test and leaves no room for dental or optical work that is covered separately.  Plus, I have to wait for the money to be contributed to my account each paycheck before I can spend it whereas I can spend my entire FSA in January if I needed to.

Is your head spinning?  Mine is!  I just don't know which way to go this year!

"A little gossip, A little chat, A little idol talk of this, And that"

Something happened this week that I just cannot shake.  I was out to drinks after work with some people and the group began to talk about a person we all knew (N).  All of a sudden a "friend" stated with a booming voice and force that N was ugly.  She went on to say that N's face was ugly and and she was very unattractive.  I was extremely bothered by the tone of this conversation.  I spoke up and said that was a horrible thing to say about N.  The group knocked me down a bit for being so outspoken and there was a few awkward moments. The conversation moved on my brain kept mulling over this conversation.

The next day I saw the person who said the rude comments and brought it up again.  I told her how bothered I was by her statements.  She defended herself and she didn't see anything wrong with what she said and she stood by her words.

That was the problem.  I don't want to be around people who think that way.  I think it just brings you down.  It is so hard to be a good person and to be kind to others.  Much harder than being shitty and pointing out the flaws.

I don't want to be that kind of person.  I don't want to be sucked into mean spirited gossip and conversations.  I don't want to laugh at the expense of others.  I want to treat others as I want to be treated.  Saying this is easy but putting it into practice is super hard.

I think it is a natural thing for people to gossip about others.  I don't think you can ever really be free from it. However, there is gossip that is factual, neutral and mean spirited.  I don't want to participate in determining who has fake boobs and judge them for it.  I like to know things and I like to know about other people but I hope there is a right way to do it.