Sometimes it is easy for me to be in denial about my behavior. I like to think that I am a rational and logical person. I also like to think that my problems with eating have nothing to do with my emotions. I AM VERY WRONG!!!!
I had an extremely bad day at work yesterday. There were harsh words exchanged and I was upset all afternoon and through the evening. I exercised after work as normal but, when I got home at 7:15 I invaded the kitchen. I was overcome by a food demon and this is what I ate:
Frozen Pizza - 3 small pieces reheated
Chips - I opened the bag and began to eat, I don't know how much
Cookie's - 8 peanut butter cookies
Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich
Macaroni and Cheese - individual serving
I was finally done and my stomach hurt. Why would I do this. I could hardly move the rest of the evening after I ate all of that food. Unfortunately, I wasn't quite done with the food nonsense. Today I managed to eat McDonald's for two meals. For breakfast I has a Sausage McMuffin sans the egg and at lunch I had a fish sandwich, fries and a cookie. At least I stayed away from the burger to keep my pact with ems.
Tonight I had the 5K training at work and afterwords I decided to go to the Push It class at the gym. This class is an hour long group personal training and it is TOUGH! The instructor is a nice version of Jillian from TBL. I felt very drained and sore when I came home, but also very satisfied with myself. It was much easier for me to make better choices for dinner.
Even though I have been working out six days a week lately I don't think I have been pushing myself enough. After tonight's work out I definitely believe I am capable of more. I think I am going to dump Monday's light training in exchange for the weekly Mandy beating.
The moral of this story is that I am going to try to become more aware of my emotional eating and try to stop it before it gets out of control. Ugg...I didn't feel good after I ate all of that food.
5 comments:
Actually the Sausage McMuffin is pretty much the best item on the breakfast menu. You could have done a lot worse.
When I was in outpatient counseling after my DUI, they gave us a mnemonic to remember situations in which we might be tempted to abuse drugs/alcohol/whatever. It might apply to any kind of compulsive behavior, though: HALT. Hurt, Angry, Lonely, Tired. Four situations (not necessarily exclusive) where your guard may be down for one reason or another. If we found ourselves considering a drink, we should HALT and take stock of our situation. Why am I thinking this? Is it really what I want, or is something else affecting my decision?
I think your body is the best judge of how much you can push yourself. As long as you can get through everything you're doing now, stepping it up a bit might not be a bad idea. But maybe on one type of workout at a time ... for example, if you're struggling with the running, then maybe you don't want to push yourself on that right away. And if you do go back to Mandy's workouts, but it makes the running harder, that's also something to consider.
...adding to what zlionsfan said, what you eat can have a HUGE impact on the workout you do. I found this to be most evident when running. If I ate poorly, running was a bear. If I ate well, it was moderately easier :-)
I, too, am an emotional eater. Which is why I call zlionsfan when I'm feeling "HALT." Then he can say annoying things like, "Sure, you can have that pizza. How soon did you want to lose that weight anyway?"
It nice to hear that you identify there is an issue. Now you just have to work on it. Please let me know how I can support you.
NE
What you ate really doesn't sound that appetizing? Did you at least enjoy it? As someone who has had many a stomach ache from overeating and who even used to carry Pepto Bismol around with her, I know where you are coming from, though.
zlionsfan: Thanks for the advise. I can certainly tell myself to "Halt" more often. It is interesting to identify the various behaviors that make me over eat. I am most worried about the crazed eating whatever food is in the kitchen than other times when I just want to enjoy a good meal.
Ems: It is annoying when the people you call to talk you off the bridge are actually rational and try to talk you down. But I am sure it works or it slows the impulse to a lower amount than it had been when to begin with.
Anonymous: You know the food did taste good. I LOVE PB&J's and I purposely only have the individual portions of mac and cheese because when I am rational I know that I DO NOT want to eat the entire box. But on the other side if I am going to consume that amount of calories I would prefer an excellent meal than a hodgepodge of crap.
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