AP Gal

Having an easy going persona at work is hard. I don’t want to let every little comment I hear bother me and I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.  However, something uncomfortable happened at work a week ago and I can’t seem to shake it. It made me aware of my ego and how important the way I’m perceived at work is to me.

Several executives and I were copied on an email from a co-worker about a problem with an employee. The colleague was trying to keep me out of the correspondence with the employee and she dealt with it herself. In doing so she referred to me as the "AP Gal" in the body of the email. EEK....stop the buss. “THE AP GAL” I DID NOT LIKE THAT! Why would she say that?

An “AP Gal” refers to the person at a company who processes the accounts payable. I have only ever seen women perform this job. I wasn’t offended by the gal part but more by the AP part. This person usually has an associate’s degree or lower and the average pay rate is about $12 an hour.

I was once an “AP Gal”. It was my first accounting job and it was a good way to get my start out of college. However, I’ve worked super hard to advance my career. I finished my bachelor’s degree and started my MBA while I was the “AP Gal”. After I finished my MBA I have steadily progressed my career to the point where I am at today. I am now the Staff Accountant for a health care company. We are small so I currently perform a variety of tasks including the lower level AP data entry to high level implantation projects.

My mind started to race at 100 miles per hour. Is that how she thinks about me? Does she really know what I do? Does she know I have an MBA? Does she know that an "AP gal" is perceived as a lower level job? I've had those kinds of jobs and I've worked hard to move forward and progress my career.  I know that I may be sensitive to that term. More importantly I know respect comes as a perception at work and not from the actual quality of my work. I don't want my co-workers or superiors to see me as a low level employee and I don't want to give them any reason to not respect me.

My intense reaction to those two little words surprised me. I hadn't realized that my ego was so large. I try to be low key. I’ve known several people who like to put all their credentials behind their name no matter how miniscule. I don’t want to be the kind of person who finds that necessary. I want people to recognize my skills and knowledge base without my having to advertise my education or credentials. I don’t want to be cocky or to be known as the egotist at work. That isn’t the image I want to present, however, I don't want to feel belittled or degraded.

I’m glad I recognize how my ego can get out of control. I’ve learned how much a few simple words can hurt my feelings and demolish my self-worth in my head. Now that I am conscious of my sensitivity I can try to squelch it before it gets out of control.

Unfortunately, I was still thinking with the emotional part of my mind couldn't let it go. Every time I saw the person who used those dirty words I cringed. On Thursday afternoon I saw the word offender walk by my office and I waved at her to come in and chat. We talked about a few work problems and we had some pleasantries and then I said it plainly. I told her that I didn't like how she referred to me in the email and I would prefer to not be referred to as the “AP Gal” in the future. My confrontation surprised her and she tried to explain her actions.

I accepted her explanation and I don't think she used those words to offend me. And to my surprise she seemed receptive to the uncomfortable conversation. I appreciated her not taking offensive at my directness.

I don’t want to be offended by the incident and I don’t like what it said about me. As far as I understand the co-worker did not have bad intentions. I try to evaluate a person’s intentions before I judge them. Generally speaking I don’t think people go out of their way to hurt others intentionally. I think I knew in my heart the she wasn’t trying to look down on me but I just couldn’t stop the negative emotions from surfacing.

I’m glad I acted like an adult in this situation and I confronted her. I think directness is easier to handle than the bitchy passive aggressive behavior of many of my co-workers. It has helped put the bad feelings behind me.

I feel like this entire situation was a good learning experience. I am glad I recognized the extent of my ego as well as how sensitive I am about my work status. I know I can work on being more confident in the future. Furthermore, I am pleased that directness worked for me in this situation. Human reactions can go positive or negative so quickly and I was happy/surprised with her positive reaction to my directness. Some people appreciate it and others don’t because they loathe confrontation. However, I think it is more palatable to me to be direct than it is for me to hold bad feelings inside. It is just important to know when it is appropriate and when it isn’t.