Recently, I have begun to make a conscious effort to notice and remember what clothes my friends were wearing. I started this experiment a few months ago in an effort to improve my observation skills. I wanted to remember more details of an experience and I thought this would be a good way to start.
About five minutes after I would leave my friends I would try to recite to myself what they were wearing. At first I just concentrated on the color of the garments. I must admit that my first few observations were a bit rocky. I would remember that they were dressed in something. Was it blue, green or red?? Then I slowly would begin to remember more details. So and so was wearing a green shirt and blue jeans.
I call color remembrance level one. It took me almost a month to become observant enough to remember the colors. Level two included me remembering the color and type of clothes. So and so was wearing a white button down blouse and blue jeans with buttons and wide pockets. Good. Success! I started to believe that I was increasing my observational skills.
Then something bad came along with the good. I began judging people for their outfits. Eeek!!! I am known for not judging people by their outward appearance but the side effect of this experiment has caused that very trait to pop out of me. I don’t like that. I just want to observe what a friend was wearing and not think to myself that they should throw away those ugly shoes.
What do you think? Is observing my surroundings important? Is it important enough for me bring judgments to the forefront of my mind? Is there something else that I could observe about a person or my soundings that wouldn’t bring up negative or judgmental thoughts.
6 comments:
I don't think there is anything you can observe that is guaranteed to prevent negative thoughts from surfacing.
Perhaps the next step in this exercise could be consciously dismissing negative thoughts. I think the initial steps to improve your observation skills are good ones, and I don't think you should stop simply because you're beginning to think about what you remember.
I’m not sure I am going out with you anymore unless I have a new outfit (HA). I think being observant is very good. Maybe you could focus on your surroundings instead of clothes. Find something interesting to point out and it would help you remember and could also bring some interesting conversation along with it. Better to say “look at that interesting fountain” instead of “what a tacky blouse”. LOL
I wish I were more observant. Maybe this will help me to do so.
Good luck and let me know how this goes.
Talk to you soon.
LL
I agree with z. The next stop is consciously dismissing the negative thoughts. When I see someone that I like wearing something that makes me recoil, I just try to think of it in a positive way. Like, "That color looks good on them." Or "I really like the cut that shirt/pants etc." Unless it's an outfit that I really like, what usually stays with me after spending time with friends is "He/She looked really good today" I don't usually remember the details about what was worn.
Of course, if it's someone I DON'T like, the negative thoughts run rampant. But they're more fun that way. (I'm sure z will disagree or say something like "Don't encourage her." :-)
Wait a sec! Does this blog mean you were judging my "holey" sweater last night?! I KNOW you weren't judging my shoes because they were adorable... :-)
No judgments for the "holey" sweater. BTW...it was cute and that is why I commented on it. If I deem it unattractive I will usually keep my mouth shut unless you are my brother and then I will just let my opinions fly;)
I value a well-dressed and/or appropriately dressed person and the effort they put into it. I believe it is OK to judge on some things. For example, if someone always wears ill-fitting pants or unappealing clothes that look like they've had them since the 1980s, I'm judging. If we are good enough friends and it is you, I will tell you. I have one acquaintance that actually takes photos of the wardrobe offender without the person realizing it. I don't know how he gets away with it, though.
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