My invisibility cloak has been enabled

When I was in high school I felt invisible.  I didn't have very many friends and I was awkward and weird.  The worst part was I didn't understand how to fit in and I have always walked to my own beat.  For example, I didn't listen to popular music in high school...um...I listened to the oldies 60's and 70's station.  Weird.  My friends and I wouldn't even brave the cafeteria at lunch.  We would sit in the hallway next to the cafeteria and hide in plain sight. 

As an adult I feel that my high school invisibility was from my own doing.  I didn't really understand how to make friends and I didn't know how to be social.  I always felt self-conscious about how I looked and I thought that most other people were better than me.  Being very poor didn't help my self-esteem.

I don't often think or dwell about high school.  I don't look at my past as an obstacle but simply as part of who I am today.  For the most part I am pretty happy with who I am and with my ability to socialize and make friends.  I don't usually fade into the background because I am self-conscious and I try to embrace the good and bad parts of myself and look at myself as I really am. 

However, it is funny how something small and insignificant can make me feel like I am in high school all over again.  A few weeks ago I got invited to my high schools XXXX (the long long ago year I graduated) Facebook reunion page.  This page was designed to get everyone together and reconnect old friends.  I was part of the group but someone made a list of "missing people" and I was on that list.  It instantly took me back to the invisible feeling of high school.  I was there but not. 

I quickly got over the bad feelings but it was amazing how something can trigger a bad feeling and bring unpleasant memories to the forefront of my mind.  Gosh...I hate when that happens.

Empathy

I received a call from my BF last week to tell me that her boyfriend had been in a car accident.  She told me a bit about it and then she told me a story of her reaction to the emergency.  During the entire conversation I was very upset and worried for her boyfriend.  While we were talking she met up with him for dinner and she had him talk to me on the phone.  He told me the story of the accident, which was horrible, and it caused me to be very concerned for him.  That caused me to have gigantic crocodile tears running down my face while we talked.


He had no idea I was crying while we were talking but he did mention to my friend that I sounded unusually concerned for him, a stranger, on the phone.

I should mention that I have never met the boyfriend and I have only talked to him twice on the phone. 

Um...weird reaction...I have no idea why I had such a surge of concern for him.


Emotions are strange creatures!

Black Friday

I had a great Black Thursday/Friday experience this year.  I didn't buy much as the "Avoid Christmas" trip is forthcoming but I had a great night.  I met my friends about 8:30 on Thursday night for our evening adventure.   The best part of evening was there was NO set plan or expectation of purchases.   

With little knowledge we decided our first stop was going to be Wal-Mart because they were the first store to start the dramatic sales.  After a quick game of "not it" we decided upon the driver (not me) and headed into the night.  When we arrived we discovered that that the parking lot was FULL.  Seriously...full and we ended in a different parking lot.  We walked in just as the masses began to arrive and there were crowds of people everywhere.  It reminded me of the time I was in Beijing train station...wall to wall people.  The amateurs grabbed carts as they entered the store and they were nothing but aggravation and trouble.  The store had many of the aisles blocked off so everyone was stuck going up and down the same few aisles.

Our first stop was the Electronics department.  They had tons of  video games on sale for $28 but NOT the one I was looking for, Skyrim (hint...hint...hint).  So I walked away unscathed but my friends ending up with several.  We then made our way through the store to the movie area (BTW...the movie area was in produce section) and this is where we make our biggest score.  Tons of cheap movies.  We probably spent about 45 minutes combing the area looking for the gold in the haystack and I came away with season 1 and 2 of Stargate: Universe.  Love...love...love.

We decided to head back to the electronics section to take one last look at the games and then check out.  We were lucky and found a cashier with only five people in line and we quickly checked out.  But...um...maybe the line had more than five people.  Maybe hundreds.  Apparently, we (I) didn't see that the line wrapped around the electronics department and we cut.  I never cut lines and I don't think I could have done it on purpose so smoothly but being uninformed worked great for us in that situation.  Seriously....the highlight of the night.  I think my companions realized that we cut the line very quickly but I was oblivious.

The next stop was Meijer. There were hardly any cars in the parking lot and the store was deserted.  We took a quick pass through the electronics area but we didn't find much so we moved on.  Apparently, the great sales were not going to start until the weekend.

Target in Castleton was our next stop.  When we arrived there were people waiting outside and they were wrapped around the building.  We decided to play it cool and we waited in the car for the doors to open and for the masses to enter the building.  We started walking up to the building about 12:15 and hit the end of the line and it was a smooth transition into the store.  Unlike Wal-Mart, Target was much easier to navigate.  We quickly found our favorite sections and we found a few golden items.  I got the first three Twilight movies super cheap and a friend got The Vampire Diaries.  BTW...that was the surprise find of the shopping trip.  Now the bad news.  There was a terrible line to buy our items.  Ugg...I think we waited at least an hour and in that time I stopped by the cooler and sampled a soda. When I was at the cashier I almost forgot to pay for it.  As a matter of fact I had to do a separate transaction to pay for the soda.  It really would have sucked  to go to jail on Black Friday for stealing a Cherry Zero. 

After Target we headed to the Mall.  I was astounded at the quantity of people in the mall at 2am.  There were even a few restaurants open in the food court.  We walked around and headed into Macy's where I ended up getting my favorite thing of the evening.  An electric blanket.  So soft and warm.  But...my cheapness was apparent.  I decided to go with the heated "throw" rather than the full bed blanket.  Stupid move.  I rationalized that I didn't need the entire blanket and the size of the throw would be big enough.  I was so WRONG!!!!  

About this time I began to get extremely tired.  I am not a big shopper and we had been out for several hours and it was the middle of the night.  I think I was walking around like a zombie and my happy disposition was quickly disappearing.  While we were in Macy's I used the ladies room and it was full.  I got into a stall quickly but when I came out all four sinks were busy.  Not with people washing their hands but with women primping.  Apparently, black Friday shopping required a level of grooming that I didn't know about.  There was a tall women in front of me smoothing her hair and making poses.  She even did the waist dip and threw back her head several times to get her hair in just the right spot.  As I was waiting to wash my hands I began to visualize hitting her with a bat and throwing her on the floor to get her out of my way.  That was the point where I realized I no longer had the ability to stay up all night.  It is time to go to bed when I begin to fantasize about hurting annoying people. 

After we left Macy's we headed over to Game Stop and looked around but my eyes were glazed over and I ended up standing against the wall waiting for my friends.  I was D-U-N.  I think I got home about 4am and I passing out in bed.  Even though I didn't buy much this was one of my best Black Friday experiences.  It was only surpassed by the time my car wouldn't start and my brother had to pick me up at 5am.  Good times!

There were a few important lessons learned from my experience.

1.  Have no agenda on Black Friday...this removes most stresses.
2.  Don't be a sucker and get a cart as it only slows you down.
3.  Go to the DVD section first to get the best choices.
4.  Have fun!