Dance 10, Looks 3

Just a few days ago a friend and I were talking about the rating system. You know the number you assign another person based upon their hotness or a combination of their hotness and other factors. He asked me what number I would assign myself. It was a surprising and shocking question that I had never considered before this conversation. Honestly, I’m not a person who usually judges other based upon their looks and people often laugh at me when I fail to make an observation of a person that was so obvious to them. For example, I seem to never notice when men are bald. However, just like many other human beings I do enjoy a beautiful man although I never rate them or give them a number. It is usually just a comment in my head that he is cute or very appealing.

As soon as this friend asked me this question I immediately knew my answer. But I was a little nervous about telling him. Primarily, because when I said the number to myself in my head it didn’t sound good but it was my honest opinion of myself. As we discussed this topic we brainstormed on the different ways people can rate others.  The first and obvious was looks. When I think of the number rating system this is the only way I had ever thought it was based. However, my friend informed me that he has had several conversations with others and everyone seems to have different ideas on what goes into their final number.

Some of these people included intelligence, personality, having a car, job, house, garage or sense or humor. All of these things were included into the ultimate number they would rate a person. Personally, I don’t believe that. In all my experience I’ve felt that most folks rate other people on their appearance and rarely look for something else.

That is how I came to the conclusion on how I would rate myself. I wanted to give myself a higher number but I don’t think that I deserved it.  I have really wondered about this ever since I’ve said the number to myself. Do I have really low self-esteem? Offhandedly, I would say no. However, this low number may indicate it. Or, am I just realistic. Am I self-aware enough to know what I look like and judge myself on the same scale I would think my peers would judge me?

I know you are all wondering what number I gave myself and I will keep you in the dark no longer. It was a T-h-r-e-e. 3. 3! There I’ve said it. Now the cat is out of the bag. My friend asked me if I was taking everything into consideration when I assigned myself the number but I didn’t. I believe the entire social structure of the rating system is all based upon the physical appearance of the person being judged.

After my decision to give myself a three I wondered what it would take to think of myself of as an eight. Would I have to dramatically change the way I look or would I have to change the way I looked at myself? I know that many of the things in my life happened because I believed that I could do them. Could I do this with the rating system? If I believed I’m an eight am I an eight? I don’t think I’m there yet but it is something I’ll mull over in the next year. For now, I’m a three and I’m living with that.