September 26, 2014

Two Policemen and a Pink Nightie

When I was in my early 20’s I still lived at home with my mom. We lived in a shitty trailer in my small hometown and my life was stagnant. One of the many problems with our abode was that our front door wouldn't stay shut. It would pop open at any moment. Our idea of fixing the faulty door was to wedge a long piece of wood under the door handle at night once everyone was home. Classy right?

One summer night my mom was out with her pseudo boyfriend, Dingy Denny. He drove a semi-truck and she would hang out with him while he worked. I knew my mom would be home super late so I couldn’t wedge the wood under the door before I went to bed. Even though I slept alone, and had no hopes for a boyfriend, I liked to sleep in a short pink silky nightie. I put it on and quickly fell asleep.

Several hours later I was rudely awakened to the sounds of yelling and the feeling of my door falling on me. I should mention at this point that the door to my bedroom never worked. It was supposed to slide back and forth but it would never stay on the tracks. Therefore, if I wanted privacy, which was all the time, I leaned it up against the door hole and hoped it would stay in place. In case you were wondering, this wasn’t the first time I had been woken up by my door falling on me. You would have thought I would have had the sense to move my bed away from the path of the door but I wasn’t that swift.
Anyway, I awoke to the door falling on my body and two men yelling something at me. I can’t remember exactly what they said but when I opened my eyes I saw that they were police officers and they had their guns out and aimed at me. I mumbled something like, “Umm...what..l...where..why?”

I hopped out of bed and cleared my brain and immediately felt embarrassed at my attire. My pink silky nighty was short and skimpy and not something I wore for everyone, my second thought was confusion and then fear. The policemen asked me if I was okay, I said yes, and they lowered their guns slightly but not all the way. They told me my front door was hanging wide open and a neighbor called them to check it out.

The two men left my room to search the house. They started in the living room and then went through the hallway to the bathroom and the other bedrooms. While they were checking out the house I rapidly searched around for my robe and remembered that I left it on the washer that was at the other end of the trailer. I hurried to get it and was embarrassed when my panties peaked out several times as I walked to the washer.

The police finished their scan of our house and found it clear of intruders by the time I grabbed my robe and put it on. I showed them out, shut the door and when back to bed. And yes, I didn’t put the board back under the door because my mom wasn’t home yet. Apparently, this event didn’t impact my psyche and I quickly enjoyed the peaceful sleep of the young, invincible and innocent.

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