I have a problem and it is all caused by what I call the Fat Girl Mentality. This is the Candy who thinks she cannot do stuff. She is not able to run, play sports, bike at an adequate pace or any other thing a normal "thin" person can do. I am able to shove this version of myself away most of the time but it has come out in the last several weeks. I don't like her but she cannot be ignored.
All of these bad and self defeating thoughts are wrecking my self confidence. I can feel myself going inward and and allowing other peoples thoughts and opinions color my vision of myself. I don't like it. I don't want to act like a person who cannot do things. I don't want to BE a person who cannot do things.
I thought by accomplishing one of my summer goals of biking 50 miles it would help build my self confidence. No so robot. It has had no effect. I don't think "doing" any one thing will help me not feel and behave like the inner fat girl. I think I need an attitude adjustment. I keep trying but I cannot seem to come out of it. Why why why????
I am not looking for sympathy, I just want to figure out how to be happy in my own skin as it has not been a pleasant place as of late.
3 comments:
Who are these other people that are affecting your view of yourself? If you know them, you might want to stop associating with them. If you don't know them, their opinion doesn't matter. I know thin folks or those within the medically-defined standards of average weight who do not have the endurance to ride 50 miles or even 20 miles. You know that, too. Just think... you are so good at biking now that you can ride with people this year, that last year you wouldn't have been able to keep up with. So you can succeed at the activities or sports you want to do and that are important to you. Try accepting that as a fact first, then move on to tackling the FG mentality. It has been with you a long time, it might take a while, but you can conquer it.
You can do it.
You are a vibrant, beautiful young woman.
You are not your weight. Your weight does not define you.
You can achieve whatever you set your mind to. BELIEVE IT and you can ACHIEVE IT!!!!!!
NE
I love that comment left by NE. Love it. It's perfect. You can do anything you set your mind to, Candace. And I will be here to support you in any way you need.
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