Coke Zero...Diet Coke...Cherry Zero

I miss you and I think about you all the time.  I sit at work with my head on my hand dreaming of your fizzy wonderful taste.

Seriously, this is what I do.  I think about it all the time.  I gave up pop about three weeks ago and I would have thought that the cravings would have been gone by now.  Not so.  How could the addiction be so strong.  I haven't caved but this is one of the hardest things in my life right now.  I wish the thoughts would go away. 

Jeez...if this is how I feel about pop I cannot imagine kicking cocaine. I am glad I never started that bad habit.

How do you decide if someone you know is prejudiced?

Something happened to me last week that made me really uncomfortable.  I went to lunch with three ladies to a great Soul Food Restaurant called Kountry Kitchen.  The food was delicious but it was located in a predominantly black neighborhood.  When my friend suggested the restaurant and told me the location I didn't think twice about it as I was only dreaming of the yummy comfort food I was going to eat.  Plus, I ride my bike through that area often in the summer and I have never had any problems.

I drove us to the restaurant and as we got closer one of my companions began to make racist comments about the area.  I looked at her in the mirror and asked her if she thought just because someone was black they were they going to accost her on the street.   She didn't reply to my question.  The uncomfortable comments continued through lunch and on the way back to work. 

As the time progressed I began to get more and more upset.  After I got back to work I began to think about the last hour and I got more and more mad about her ignorance.  I didn't like her behavior or what she said but I didn't know how to handle it at the time.  How should I have reacted to her? 

Then...another thing happened today.  We had lunch together again and she began to tell me a story about her daughter going to a new school in Lawrence.  She was worried about the daughter and how she would react to a more racially diverse school.  I looked at her and said that children often react to these situations in the way they are taught at home.  She went on to say her hometown was almost 100% white and she was worried that her daughter would say something inappropriate because she is a bit mouthy..  I point blank asked her if she was racist and she said no.  But... these conversations led me to believe that she is.

I wish I was better at confrontational conversations.  I wish I was more articulate in telling her my beliefs that I am not racist and I don't like to be around people who are.  What is the best way to handle these kinds of conversations?

Small Steps

 I am an emotional eater.  Sigh. That is the cold hard truth of things.  For the last few months I have been very upset by something in my life and per my usual MO I have been eating out of control.  I NEED for this terrible pattern to stop.  Therefore, I have decided to implement a series of small steps that will enable me to get my eating back on track.

The first small step started last Monday.  I decided to quit drinking pop.  It was tough but I knew it was a good decision.  I decided to start with pop because I knew I was very addicted to it.  Um...Diet Cherry Zero ruled my life.  I always wanted it in the mornings and at lunch and and in the evenings.  I was drinking it all the time.  Then....they opened a McDonald's by my house and I started to stop every morning for a 32 oz Diet Coke (OK...I also got a breakfast sandwich).  This went on for a few weeks and I knew in the middle of was creating a very bad habit. 

So the pop stopped first and I was successful.  I have gone an entire week without drinking a carbonated beverage.  Woo Hoo!!!   It feels good to have control of that little aspect of my life.  But, I am not sure where I what to draw the beverage line.  Is the purpose of zero diet pop to eliminate Aspartame from my diet?  Can I still drink Crystal light?  I have been drinking it but I do sort of consider it on the same level as pop.  It adds unnecessary chemicals to my body.  Is it better to drink something with regular sugar and add the calories or should I just strictly drink iced tea, milk and water?  I haven't decided yet but I am in my "thinking" mode.

Today is the beginning of week two and I decided this weeks small step would be for me to bring my lunch 4 days this week.  Ugg...this is so hard because it really cuts into my socialization at work.  I love hanging out with my co-workers during lunch.  We enjoy talking and catching up.  I have tried to convince a few friends to bring their lunches but I am not sure it will really work.  I know the first time I am asked out when I have my packed lunch is going to be very hard for me. I know I will want to go out with them but I will have to say NO.  I have considered the idea of taking my lunch with me when they go out and it could work at some locations but not others.  Subway and Starbucks are easy because they have outside seating but a regular restaurant might not like that to much.


Now is the time for me to plan in advance.  I am not sure what direction I want to head for next weeks small step but these are some things I am considering.

1.  Eating dinner out only 3 nights per week
2.  Tracking my food (Ugg...I really hate hate hate this idea)
3.  Limiting desserts
4.  Eating a fruit or vegetable with every meal
5.  Eliminating fried foods
6.  Ok...I am out of ideas...

Do any of my loyal;) readers have any ideas for me? Any helpful hints?  I know I am not usually successful when I am tracking my food because I become obsessed with the food.  I am trying to make small changes that will help me in my long term weight loss goals.  I don't want to implement anything that isn't sustainable in the long term. I know overall healthier eating is going to be my long term solution but I just need to get there.

Intentions

What makes a person decide that someone else has good or bad intentions?  I think that many mis-communications revolve around the thinking that someone else has malicious intentions when presenting them with information.

For Example:  I have been trying to get a co-worker to join my book club.  I have asked her to join me several times and she says that she is interested but she hasn't read any of the books.  I decided to "surprise" her and I ordered her a copy of this months book on Amazon.  Since I considered this a surprise I didn't give her a waring about the packages arrival last Wednesday.  Then I forgot about it...until today.  I walked over to her cube and asked her if she has received any presents in the mail lately.  She gave me a blank look and said no.  After a few seconds I could see that she started to think about it and then her face changed from pleasant to mad.  She asked me if it was a book. I said yes with a giant smile on my face. 

She told me that she got it last week and she was very angry because she thought someone sent it to her to say that she was dumb because the book is about a mentally challenged boy.  She called up her family and interrogated them to find out who sent it and she even called Amazon to see if they shipped it to her by mistake.  She really thought someone sent her the book out of meanness.  After she corralled her emotions she laughed but she did throw me out of her cube.  I guess I could have given her warning about the books arrival but in my mind that would have ruined the surprise.

It made me feel good to send her the book and it made me sad that people often take acts of kindness out of context.  I don't understand why so many people look for the bad in others and often assume that someone is trying to do them wrong.  I am over this way of thinking.  Why can't we just talk to each other and assume the best in others instead of the worst?

Another example also happened at work.  A friend came up to me and the first thing she said was, "You look tired.".  Um...wow.  My first instinct was to think she was being rude but my second thought was to think she was expressing concern for me.  I probably did look tired and needed additional rest and that is how I chose to take that comment.

I just wish people could take information at face value instead of reading so many different things into a conversation.  (Me included).