Something happened to me last week that made me really uncomfortable. I went to lunch with three ladies to a great Soul Food Restaurant called Kountry Kitchen. The food was delicious but it was located in a predominantly black neighborhood. When my friend suggested the restaurant and told me the location I didn't think twice about it as I was only dreaming of the yummy comfort food I was going to eat. Plus, I ride my bike through that area often in the summer and I have never had any problems.
I drove us to the restaurant and as we got closer one of my companions began to make racist comments about the area. I looked at her in the mirror and asked her if she thought just because someone was black they were they going to accost her on the street. She didn't reply to my question. The uncomfortable comments continued through lunch and on the way back to work.
As the time progressed I began to get more and more upset. After I got back to work I began to think about the last hour and I got more and more mad about her ignorance. I didn't like her behavior or what she said but I didn't know how to handle it at the time. How should I have reacted to her?
Then...another thing happened today. We had lunch together again and she began to tell me a story about her daughter going to a new school in Lawrence. She was worried about the daughter and how she would react to a more racially diverse school. I looked at her and said that children often react to these situations in the way they are taught at home. She went on to say her hometown was almost 100% white and she was worried that her daughter would say something inappropriate because she is a bit mouthy.. I point blank asked her if she was racist and she said no. But... these conversations led me to believe that she is.
I wish I was better at confrontational conversations. I wish I was more articulate in telling her my beliefs that I am not racist and I don't like to be around people who are. What is the best way to handle these kinds of conversations?
1 comment:
Few people in this day and age are going to say "Oh, yes I do not like 'those people' and I consider myself a racist" so it is not surprising she said no. Basically folks have issues with other folks for a variety of reasons including ethnicity and skin color. I know I've been in a situation where someone's disdain for me has been so great that I've wondered whether it was related to that. I think instead of getting into a debate on her philosophy, I'd just tell her that I view such conversations as negative and would prefer not to have them.
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