Sometimes I have strange ideas. Or ideas that don’t coincide with other peoples beliefs or traditions. The religious meaning of Christmas is to celebrate Jesus’ birth and what he did for mankind. Being an Atheist has made me really think about why I celebrate Christmas and what meaning I put behind my actions and gift giving. I decided the sentiment that I want people to feel is L-O-V-E. Just because I don’t believe in God doesn’t mean that I don’t want to take this time of year to show my feelings towards my friends and family.
I don’t like to give “things” to people because I feel obligated to. I often feel such a sense of requirement to get so and so a Christmas gift when I don’t know them and I have no idea of something that they would like or want. I don’t want to get someone an impersonal gift card just because a gift is expected. A PF Chang’s meal is nice but it is fleeting and isn’t often remembered for years later. I tried to remember the gifts I received last year and I can’t . But what I do remember is going to my sister’s house on Christmas day and then a few days later going to my brothers house to celebrate with them. Also, I remember talking a walk with a friend at Fort Ben the week between Christmas and New Years in the freezing cold and discussing our respective Christmases. I even remember slipping on the ice and falling down and then laughing hysterically when I realized I wasn’t hurt. It is always the time with people that is most important to me.
Perhaps I have a longing for immortality but I want to build memories with the people I love. So I tried to stick to that theme with this year’s gifts. I thought long and hard about my three nieces and nephew in the area and I wanted to do something special for them. I finally decided upon three outings. First a trip to the local craft shop for some pottery painting, second is a trip to the Half Price Bookstore with a $5 gift card per child and finally I am going to take them Ice Skating. I thought this all sounded fun and involved spending time with the children. I want their childhood memories of me to be of these fun times because I am sure they wouldn’t remember what was so special about Christmas 2010 if I got them the latest fad toy.
My friends were a bit more difficult but I think I thought of some good ideas. I got someone concert tickets and another friend tickets to see a childhood acquaintance at the ISO. I made some pies for other friends and quoting her “Broke my own rules” by also buying her a CD. However, the bottom line is I want them to remember the pies and the concerts and spending time with me. This is how I like to show my love and appreciation for my friends.
I have some family in Ohio that I will not be able to see during the holidays and I got a bit panicky about this last Friday. I realized I had nothing for them. No visit to Ohio and nothing special planned for them. I broke my rules again and I bought them some video games on Amazon and had them shipped directly to their house. It made me feel dirty. A box from Amazon is just so impersonal. It made me feel like I should have tried harder but I didn’t. I will have to find a way to fix this in the future. This philosophy is much harder for people many many miles away. However, I do have a friend who lives in Florida and we decided to not exchange gifts but to go on a trip to Maine together this summer. I think we both will appreciate that more. Plus I know I will get to take her biking on this trip. What could be better than that?
I was explaining this idea to a co-worker today and we entered into a rather heated debate. She simply doesn’t understand me. The crux of her argument centered around me making the presents about me. Hm…like I was being selfish. She even insinuated that I feel this way because of the way I grew up and therefore I don’t understand gift giving. I just feel differently about it. Either I didn’t explain myself well enough or I am being selfish and I just don’t realize it. She thought that the act of buying a present or any present for someone is enough and the present shouldn’t involve me…ie taking a friend to a Cake concert.
She told me a story of her father, an Army Sergeant, bringing men home for Christmas when they didn’t have anywhere else to go. Then her mom would always have something tucked away in the closet for them. Either a package of socks or cigarettes or something they could use. I feel the important part of the story was them asking the men to their house to spend the holidays with their family. That is what they are going to remember . They probably won’t remember the package of socks 2o years later but I would hope that they would remember the kindness of the Sergeant and the time with their family when they were alone. This is where we disagreed.
Merry Christmas to Everyone…and know that I try to make my gifts from my heart and sincere.
2 comments:
There isn't a correct way to give gifts, nor a correct type of gifts to give. What's important is the act of giving.
If you feel that sending someone a gift from Amazon is impersonal, you should feel comfortable looking for some other option for those people ... just as long as you appreciate that other people don't mind sending gifts that way. (Like me!)
If your coworker doesn't appreciate how you give gifts to people, then she should stick to not giving that type of gift herself. There's no need for her to try to push her gift-giving philosophy on you.
A friend said to me last night that the less money you have the more thoughtful you become with gift giving. I have pondered that several times and I believe it. You try to find the right thing for the money you have.
I appreciate any gift that is given to me and I like Amazon;) I guess I was trying to explain that I felt like I should spend time with them and I didn't. Like it was a total cop out to send gifts instead of planning a visit.
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