Family Gathering

I went to a very interesting family gathering yesterday. My brother Lou was divorced two years ago but he is still in contact with his ex’s relatives. Hi ex-in-laws (Bill & Sis) were in town over the weekend from Florida and were staying at their daughter (Cindy’s) house. Our mom passed away about 4.5 years ago and our dad passed away about 9 years ago and we don’t have a very large extended family. So you can see why Lou and I regard Bill and Sis as surrogate parents and we wanted to see them and spend time with them, as well as allowing Wyatt, Sarah and Paige the opportunity to know and reap the benefits of their grandparents. Cindy lives in Brownsburg and we (Lou, Sarah, Paige, me and Traci (Lou’s new wife)) made the hour trek to their house at noon on Sunday. When we arrived Cindy was in bed taking a nap (I am not sure I understand why you would be taking a nap when you were expecting guests?) and we were greeted by her husband Fred and Bill and Sis. We spent an enjoyable 45 minutes catching up and spending quality alone time with them. Then the rest of the family started to arrive. This included Cindy’s other Sister Cheryl, her two adult son’s one of the sons six month old child. This group also included Cindy’s Daughters (Cassie) husband and their child as well as Cindy’s Son (Lee) his wife and their three children. It felt like a circus having so many people there.

At one point I was sitting on the couch talking and to everyone and the father of the six month old who was sitting on the floor near me ask me to watch the baby while he went to the kitchen. I was fine for the first minute but soon thereafter the baby was trying to lift herself up and I became terrified that the baby would fall and hurt herself while the parent was away. Apparently, my face got all red and blotchy and I had a look of panic etched into my facial expression. I was glad the father came back without incident. As soon as he returned the baby did fall and cry. I guess I was right to be concerned, as least it didn't happen on my watch.

There were several unpleasant family items that occurred during this visit. Lou’s daughter unfortunately takes after both sides of our family and struggles with food and her weight. She is 8 and Lou is working with her on making good choices, potion control and engaging her in physical activities. There were some comments about her from Cheryl, an adult, directed at Lou inquiring from him about how he is managing Sarah’s weight and food. He was completely offended by this comment and hurt for Sarah. Both Lou and I know what it feels like for this to happen. When we were children and we went to family events on my mother’s and fathers side there were always rude and unkind things said about us because we were overweight. We both know how hurtful this was to experience we know that our mother didn’t do anything to stop it. He doesn’t want these types of things happening to his own child. He is managing the situation. Why would a person who you only see once a year have the right to make these types of comments? From my perspective it doesn’t come from a kind place in her heart.

Cindy is generally an unpleasant person to be around. She is usually negative and makes rude comments. This trip was no exception. It started by her being in bed when we arrived and staying there for an hour. I just cannot understand that behavior. I wouldn’t invite guests over and then stay in bed after they arrived. Then we were there for two hours without being offered a beverage. We don’t visit this persons house often enough to make ourselves at home and rummage in the kitchen. I am not sure that I was ever actually offered a beverage but about 2.5 hours after I arrived I got a glass of water. Then during the day she would just make rude comments to people. I am not sure where she learned social behavior, but I think that she needs an additional lesson.

Finally, can you imagine how Traci felt being at a family gathering at her husbands ex-in-laws? She didn’t know anyone but us. I am glad that she made it through the day fairly unscathed. The thing is that it takes a long time to make these kinds of relationships. I liked Tricia’s parents and I enjoyed spending time around them (but not especially her extended family). I am not sure I have these feelings yet for Traci’s family. They are nice enough to spend time with, but they have only been married for six months. I am not sure how long it is going to take me to grow as comfortable with her family.