Authentic Happiness

The auxiliary book club that I belong to read the book, "Authentic Happiness" by Martin E.P. Seligman. This was not the type of book that I would ordinarily read but Nicole really wanted us to read and then discuss it. I am glad that I stuck with it and finished the book and I learned a couple new thing about myself in the process.

We had to take a quiz that evaluated our strengths and weaknesses. His theorized that the utilization of your strengths will make you a happier person and give you a more fulfilling life. The following list details out my greatest strengths an weakness.


Your Top Strength
Love of learning
You love learning new things, whether in a class or on your own. You have always loved school, reading, and museums-anywhere and everywhere there is an opportunity to learn.

Your Second Strength
Curiosity and interest in the world
You are curious about everything. You are always asking questions, and you find all subjects and topics fascinating. You like exploration and discovery.

Your Third Strength
Humor and playfulness
You like to laugh and tease. Bringing smiles to other people is important to you. You try to see the light side of all situations.

Your Fourth Strength
Industry, diligence, and perseverance
You work hard to finish what you start. No matter the project, you "get it out the door" in timely fashion. You do not get distracted when you work, and you take satisfaction in completing tasks.

Your Fifth Strength
Zest, enthusiasm, and energy
Regardless of what you do, you approach it with excitement and energy. You never do anything halfway or halfheartedly. For you, life is an adventure.

Strength#6
Leadership
You excel at the tasks of leadership: encouraging a group to get things done and preserving harmony within the group by making everyone feel included. You do a good job organizing activities and seeing that they happen.

Strength#7
Hope, optimism, and future-mindedness
You expect the best in the future, and you work to achieve it. You believe that the future is something that you can control.

Strength#8
Kindness and generosity
You are kind and generous to others, and you are never too busy to do a favor. You enjoy doing good deeds for others, even if you do not know them well.

Strength#9
Bravery and valor
You are a courageous person who does not shrink from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain. You speak up for what is right even if there is opposition. You act on your convictions.

Strength#10
Forgiveness and mercy
You forgive those who have done you wrong. You always give people a second chance. Your guiding principle is mercy and not revenge.

Strength#11
Judgment, critical thinking, and open-mindedness
Thinking things through and examining them from all sides are important aspects of who you are. You do not jump to conclusions, and you rely only on solid evidence to make your decisions. You are able to change your mind.

Strength#12
Citizenship, teamwork, and loyalty
You excel as a member of a group. You are a loyal and dedicated teammate, you always do your share, and you work hard for the success of your group.

Strength#13
Honesty, authenticity, and genuineness
You are an honest person, not only by speaking the truth but by living your life in a genuine and authentic way. You are down to earth and without pretense; you are a "real" person.

Strength#14
Creativity, ingenuity, and originality
Thinking of new ways to do things is a crucial part of who you are. You are never content with doing something the conventional way if a better way is possible.

Strength#15
Fairness, equity, and justice
Treating all people fairly is one of your abiding principles. You do not let your personal feelings bias your decisions about other people. You give everyone a chance.

Strength#16
Modesty and humility
You do not seek the spotlight, preferring to let your accomplishments speak for themselves. You do not regard yourself as special, and others recognize and value your modesty.

Strength#17
Perspective (wisdom)
Although you may not think of yourself as wise, your friends hold this view of you. They value your perspective on matters and turn to you for advice. You have a way of looking at the world that makes sense to others and to yourself.

Strength#18
Social intelligence
You are aware of the motives and feelings of other people. You know what to do to fit in to different social situations, and you know what to do to put others at ease.

Strength#19
Appreciation of beauty and excellence
You notice and appreciate beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in all domains of life, from nature to art to mathematics to science to everyday experience.

Strength#20
Gratitude
You are aware of the good things that happen to you, and you never take them for granted. Your friends and family members know that you are a grateful person because you always take the time to express your thanks.

Strength#21
Capacity to love and be loved
You value close relations with others, in particular those in which sharing and caring are reciprocated. The people to whom you feel most close are the same people who feel most close to you.

Strength#22
Self-control and self-regulation
You self-consciously regulate what you feel and what you do. You are a disciplined person. You are in control of your appetites and your emotions, not vice versa.

Strength#23
Caution, prudence, and discretion
You are a careful person, and your choices are consistently prudent ones. You do not say or do things that you might later regret.

Strength#24
Spirituality, sense of purpose, and faith
You have strong and coherent beliefs about the higher purpose and meaning of the universe. You know where you fit in the larger scheme. Your beliefs shape your actions and are a source of comfort to you.


Lets start with the unpleasant first:

Strength#21 (AKA Weakness)
Capacity to love and be loved

I was very shocked to learn that this was so low on the list at number 21. The reason that this is so low has to do with the second portion of the description. The capacity to be loved. This kind of sucks for me, but I do think that it is true. I do tend to avoid relationships. I don't think that I really like this about myself, but I am also not sure what I need to change to fix it. In our group "therapy" session we have determined that it is associated with my childhood and subsequent upbringing. I don't think that I like that this was pointed out.

Strength#18 Social intelligence

I find it interesting that this category was very low. I am a very social person, but I realize that isn't what makes this one of my weaknesses. I think that I have made significant strides in this area but I still have a hard time communicating with people. We spoke about how hard it is for me to tell people about things that are upsetting me. I usually bottle them up and then let the pressure build until I explode. I don't think that this is the best way to handle my various relationships but it is what I do.

An example would be when I was in NY with AL and I was upset that she was always walking faster than me and often three steps in front of me. I chose to keep the anger and hurt feelings to myself and I did not tell her on the first day and I would like her to walk next to me. If I had done that I wouldn't have been as mad on the third day and said it in a negative way. I will try to learn from this situation, but I know I like to avoid uncomfortable situations. I also realize that I get the same results when I avoid them.

I feel like the items listed as strengths are spot on and are very telling of who "Candace" is. I was just taking to moorewrites tonight about school, and if it was paid for I would definitely go back for my doctorate. However, I also know that I do not need school in order to learn. I seek those things out every day. I guess this explains why the History Channel is my favorite TV station.

I challenge you to go to this website and take the VIA Survey of Character Strengths. If you do, please report to me your findings. I am very interested.