April 7, 2009

Why I don’t think that I want to be a Parent

I had the pleasure of watching my two nieces and nephew this past weekend for three full days. It was fun and hell all at the same time. It really made me think about my interest in having children of my own. Sometimes when I see Paige or Sarah and see how cute they are and how much love they give, it makes me want to have a perfect child of my own. That thought usually doesn’t last long.

I know when I am with them and then I tire of them, I can always return them to the parents. There is always a safety net. At one point a few years ago I had some interest in adopting an Asian baby and I did some research on that topic. I LOVE little Asian babies, they are so cute! I looked and realized that it wasn’t easy, fast or cheap. It could cost more than $15,000 and that does not even encompass the soft costs. I am no longer interested in pursuing this but it was interesting to find out the details. BTW...most of the countries require a mom and a dad for the baby and will note accept a single person. My brother came over one day and found the Asian baby web search and made fun of me forever. He couldn’t understand why I would even research the topic or even have the thought.

He did some thinking and he decided that I needed to become a foster parent. HE WAS CRAZY. He kept talking about all of the money the state is willing to give to people who take in these unwanted kids. I did some research on this topic and Indiana has a website that you can view photos and portfolios of children in need of homes. It is so crazy that you can shop for children on the Internet. But a person like me would be more likely to do that type of research rather than going to a state office. I assure you I am not considering this idea.

I still come to the conclusion that children are not for me. I like being selfish and only having me to think about. I like being able to see my friends 7 days a week and staying out till 2am with-out repercussions. I like reading loads of books and having unlimited Internet time. I like having money and time to travel to exotic locations or just camping for the weekend. I like leaving the steak knife on the TV tray for three days without worry of a stabbing incident. I like having uninterrupted phone conversations for two hours and going to work at nine am and leaving at six or seven with-out guilt. I like eating out all of the time and rarely going to the grocery store. I like that most of my friends are childless and have the ability to play as I do. I like my life as it is!

Call me selfish but I don't think children are in the cards for me. If I say something different in the future, please give me a good hard shake and tell me to re-read this post! For now I like borrowing Lou's, Wendy's and Ron's children for fun activities. I like being Fun Aunt Candy and giving the teenagers sex books, letting the little ones stay up too late, eat junk food and watch inappropriate TV. I like taking them to cultural events and exposing them to something different than their parents point of view. I would like to travel with them when they are older and can pay for themselves. I want to be good enough to them so one of them will take care of me when I am old and incapacitated.

I hope you can still respect me for having this radical point-of-view.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

My friend has 2 adopted children and 4 foster children. They range in age from 3 to 16.Two are biracial and quite cute, which I mention only because of your Asian child comment. She also has an (unattractive)dog. There is pure pandomonium at her house, but she would never trade her life for mine of freedom for anything. In fact, I suspect she thinks there is something wrong with me for not desiring a full house.

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