Christmas Philosophy

Sometimes I have strange ideas.  Or ideas that don’t coincide with other peoples beliefs or traditions.  The religious meaning of Christmas is to celebrate Jesus’ birth and  what he did for mankind.  Being an Atheist has made me really think about why I celebrate Christmas and what meaning I put behind my actions and gift giving.  I decided the sentiment that I want people to feel is L-O-V-E.  Just because I don’t believe in God doesn’t mean that I don’t want to take this time of year to show my feelings towards my friends and family.

I don’t like to give “things” to people because I feel obligated to.  I often feel such a sense of requirement to get so and so a Christmas gift when I don’t know them and I have no idea of something that they would like or want.  I don’t want to get someone an impersonal gift card just because a gift is expected.  A PF Chang’s meal is nice but it is fleeting and isn’t often remembered for years later.  I tried to remember the gifts I received last year and I can’t .  But what I do remember is going to my sister’s house on Christmas day and then a few days later going to my brothers house to celebrate with them.  Also, I remember talking a walk with a friend at Fort Ben the week between Christmas and New Years in the freezing cold and discussing our respective Christmases.  I even remember slipping on the ice and falling down and then laughing hysterically when I realized I wasn’t hurt.  It is always the time with people that is most important to me.

Perhaps I have a longing for immortality but I want to build memories with the people I love.  So I tried to stick to that theme with this year’s gifts.  I thought long and hard about my three nieces and nephew in the area and I wanted to do something special for them.  I finally decided upon three outings.   First a trip to the local craft shop for some pottery painting, second is a trip to the Half Price Bookstore with a $5 gift card per child and finally I am going to take them Ice Skating.  I thought this all sounded fun and involved spending time with the children.  I want their childhood memories of me to be of these fun times because I am sure they wouldn’t remember what was so special about Christmas 2010 if I got them the latest fad toy.

My friends were a bit more difficult but I think I thought  of some good ideas.  I got someone concert tickets and another friend tickets to see a childhood acquaintance at the ISO.  I made some pies for other friends and quoting her “Broke my own rules” by also buying her a CD.  However, the bottom line is I want them to remember the pies and the concerts and spending time with me.  This is how I like to show my love and appreciation for my friends.

I have some family in Ohio that I will not be able to see during the holidays and I got a bit panicky about this last Friday.  I realized I had nothing for them.  No visit to Ohio and nothing special planned for them.  I broke my rules again and I bought them some video games on Amazon and had them shipped directly to their house.  It made me feel dirty.  A box from Amazon is just so impersonal.  It made me feel like I should have tried harder but I didn’t.  I will have to find a way to fix this in the future.  This philosophy is much harder for people many many miles away.  However, I do have a friend who lives in Florida and we decided to not exchange gifts but to go on a trip to Maine together this summer.  I think we both will appreciate that more.  Plus I know I will get to take her biking on this trip.  What could be better than that?

I was explaining this idea to a co-worker today and we entered into a rather heated debate.  She simply doesn’t understand me.  The crux of her argument centered around me making the presents about me.  Hm…like I was being selfish. She even insinuated that I feel this way because of the way I grew up and therefore I don’t understand gift giving.  I just feel differently about it.   Either I didn’t explain myself well enough or I am being selfish and I just don’t realize it.  She thought that the act of buying a  present or any present for someone is enough and the present shouldn’t involve me…ie taking a friend to a Cake concert. 

She told me a story of her father, an Army Sergeant, bringing men home for Christmas when they didn’t have anywhere else to go.  Then her mom would always have something tucked away in the closet for them.  Either  a package of socks or cigarettes or something they could use.  I feel the important part of the story was them asking the men to their house to spend the holidays with their family.  That is what they are going to remember .  They probably won’t remember the package of socks 2o years later but I would hope that they would remember the kindness of the Sergeant and the time with their family when they were alone.  This is where we disagreed. 

Merry Christmas to Everyone…and know that I try to make my gifts from my heart and sincere.

Gym Nakedness

So...I have been going to a particular full service gym for a few months and I have really enjoyed their expansive amenities.  But in the semi-privacy of the woman's locker room some of these women are fairly free with their bodies.

1.  I like to use the steam room.  It smells good and it is relaxing.  There is one aspect that isn't relaxing and it is the naked woman doing yoga poses.  Yes...she is completely naked moving her body in various yoga poses while I am siting in the steam room.   I don't get it.  Why do you need to make a spectacle of yourself.  Keep a towel around you.  I don't need to see so much of you.

2.  Naked talking.  I was getting dressed the other day and this women saw me wearing my new Jingle Bell Run T-shirt and she began to talk to me about it.  Yes...she was totally nude.  I didn't know where to look.  She proceeded to get dressed as we were talking and she did some "personal" things.  Like things I will not mention in this blog.  But personal...you know...while we were talking.  Ewww.  Where the hell are your boundaries?  During our conversation she mentioned that she was a nurse so maybe the profession explains it.

3.  Sometimes the opposite of this occurs.  I am naked and someone tries to talk to me.  Can't that wait until I have armored myself with my underwear?  I assure you anything you want to say to me can wait until then.  It doesn't take long. 

I don't think that I am overly shy about nakedness but there has to be some social etiquette that these people are missing.

There is no “Can’t” in Candace

Ems spouted this BS quote at me last weekend while we were running. I suppose it was said to encourage me to finish my run strong, but I am not sure it helped as it made fantasize about punching her in the nose. NOW she is encouraging me to participate in the Mini-Marathon in May. By participate I mean RUN the mini-marathon. I do believe she has lost her mind.

Every time she says encouraging things like “There is no CAN’T in Candace” I have a messed up tape in my head that says I can’t do stuff. However, with her encouragement and my ignoring the bad tape I began a couch to 5K program about four weeks ago. This week I am working on the week four workout redux. This workout has me running twice for five minutes. FIVE WHOLE MINUTES WITHOUT STOPPING. I think that will be a little less than .4 mile and very hard. During this week’s interval I am running a total of 16 of the 21 minutes. FYI…four weeks ago I would have said that was impossible.

Even though I have achieved what I deemed impossible a mere four weeks ago I still cannot possibly conceive of running 13 miles when five minutes is a challenge. But why?

A few weeks ago I was at a Rock Band party with several friends and I was playing the drums. The drums are my nemesis. They are hard for me and I don’t seem to correlate the sound of the drum stick hitting the drum to the pictures of the notes on the screen. If the beat is slow I can muddle my way through, but if it gets faster I cannot stay on beat. Sigh!!!

So I was playing the drums and I decided to play on the medium level for a while as I usually lounge in the easy level. I failed out. Not just once but I failed out three times in one song and that kicked me out of the song. Hm… I commented to my friends that in the year that I have been playing Rock Band I have never failed out of a song.

The first response I got was “If you have never failed out of a song then you must have never pushed yourself” and the others in the room nodded in agreement (I should mention that the room was full of athletic competitive males). At the time I ignored the comment off but I find that it is still haunting me.

If I have never failed….then I must have never pushed myself.

I quit running last year after two weeks. Was that failing or quitting. I suspect quitting. Why do I think it is better to quit than to fail?

Should I look at this as a challenge? I really really have a hard time believing that I could run 13 miles. I guess I could run and walk it but I WOULD NOT want to be picked up by the loser bus. Really…there is such a thing. If you don’t keep a pace to finish in an 18 minute/mile minimum pace they make you get on the loser bus. That would be four hours start to finish. Eeek. FYI my comfortable walking pace is a 20 minute mile.

It is interesting to me that I am scared of a 13 mile run but I think nothing of starting a 66 mile ride on my bike and I know that I will finish no matter what.  I no longer have any fear of what I can accomplish while cycling and I often think that I am Superwomen and I can do anything.  This is not the case with running.

Is it really fear that is preventing me from entering? Am I really afraid of failing. I think it is everything. I still don’t know. Like most people I really hate the feeling of failure. On a bike ride this summer I was scheduled to ride the 50 mile course and I discovered that my legs and body did not want to cooperate with me that day so I ended up doing the shorter course of 30 miles. I felt like a quitter and a failure all at the same time. It was horrible and I don’t want to repeat that feeling. Plus my friends got sick of me complaining about how horrible it was that I ONLY rode 30 miles.

Perhaps I should start with a smaller goal. Say running an entire 5K before I commit to a half marathon.

Why am I acting like such a dork?

So…do you remember this story I wrote in July? NO? It was where I went to see a production of Anne that highlighted my three nieces. I saw a guy I briefly dated the prior year and I got scared and tried to hide. I wasn’t successful and I ended up talking to him at the very end of the evening.

Guess What? I have to go back there. Damn!!! My niece and nephew are in a ballet production at the same location this weekend. I have to go. Right? I know he will be there. He has a side job recording shows at this theatre.

I know he will be there so I REALLY don’t want to go. Seriously! I have thought of about 1000 excuses as to why I cannot attend either performances and they are all lame. It would hurt the children’s feelings if I didn’t show up. I don’t want to do that but……

The thing is I cannot figure out why? Why do I have such an aversion to seeing this person. I don’t care about him but it still freaks me out.

So I know this is crazy and I should go to the show. But I can think of 10 other horrible things I would rather do than see this guy again.

1. Pick the dead lice out of the children’s hair.
2. Run for an hour.
3. Use the same towel for two weeks
4. Eat only mushrooms for a month.
5. Have my music erased from my iPod and replaced with contemporary Country artists.
6. Have five additional roommates just like the current one.
7. Wear the same clothes for a week.
8. Switch to Diet Pepsi.
9. Only read murder mystery books in 2011.
10. Watch General Hospital every day.


See…this aversion is very strong.

Fine…I will go but I hope little P and S understand the sacrifice I am making for them.

Thanksgiving in Evansville

 This was my weekend! 

Perfect Food - I should mention that I made this beautiful Apple pie and it was delicious.

There was food.  Tons and tons of food.  I ate all the time.  I went to Evansville with Ems and Z to visit Ems parents for Thanksgiving weekend.  Her mom fed us all of the time.  She was always in the kitchen cooking and making breakfast or lunch or dinner or a snack.  Then she would be doing the dishes from some scrumptious meal.  I was happy.

I have never spent Thanksgiving with anyone other than immediate family.  This felt the same.  Except....better.  Everyone got along and co-existed well.  It was like we were always on the same page.  We knew when it was time to talk, when it was time to be quiet, when it was time to walk the dog and when it was time to play a game.  My family holidays were never this serene.  There was always some tension in the room or some bad feeling.  I don't remember ever having such a relaxed and stress free holiday weekend (sorry Lou).

We played Rock Band sometimes and Mexican Train Domino's sometimes and watched Football sometimes.  The weekend was all about relaxation and doing as we wished.  We went to see the newest Harry Potter movie and also went to see the special holiday light display.  There was talk about visiting the circus but what idea was quickly and quietly veto'ed.

I had a suitcase.  A L-A-R-G-E suitcase.  I like to have lots of options when I travel.  I realized something important about myself on this trip.  I don't like to decide what I am going to wear in advance.  What if I don't feel like wearing that t-shirt on Saturday.  What if I am cold or hot or want to dress up.  So I pack options.  Plus I don't like to wear clothes more than once.  If I wore a pair of pants all day Friday I don't want to wear them again on Saturday.  They are dirty!  So I had a large suitcase and it was filled.  Um....it was the size of both of my companions suitcases put together.  So I have a quirk.  Ok...this is one of many quirks but still...love me for my quirk.

Ems father has a big wooden block in his back yard for hatchet throwing, BB Gun and Crossbow shooting.  I was immediately intrigued.  The first time I visited I mentioned about four times how much I would like to throw the hatchets but no one ever really got the hint.  I made sure they understood my desire to play with these toys on this trip.  Ems dad thought I should start with the BB gun.  Whoop!!!!

 Look at me holding the gun all serous.  I was trying to aim at this tiny little target about fifteen feet away.

 He taught me how to put the safety on the gun as well as load it with a round of six pellets.  It took about two times but I understood the concept.  I aimed and fired.  And fired and fired.  Bam...I felt a pellet hit me in the stomach...then in the leg...then I heard them fall behind me into the leaves.

 I figured out that the pellets were ricocheting off the wood and back towards my body.  I decided if they were hitting me then I was hitting the target fairly square.  Do you notice the addition of safety glasses to my outfit.  Apparently someone was worried that I would "shoot my eye out".  W.  I kept shooting the rounds and I kept getting better and better.  I noticed that most of the dents in the wood were directly above the target so I made one final correction and I was on track.  I hit the paper target with with every pellet from my final round of ammo.  AWESOME!  I should mention that this was the first time that I have every shot any sort of gun or even held one.  Woot!

The second to last round of ammo got stuck in the chamber so Ems dad had to come back and get it unstuck for me.  Oops.  I think it was just a bad round and not a user error;)

When I was done with the six rounds of ammo he brought out the best toy ever.  The crossbow.  I have never held anything like it before.  It was awesome.  The rear sight was broke off the bow but I still had great aim.  I guess I have natural long distance eyesight because I got most of my arrows in the target and not just in the wood.  I really enjoyed this activity.  It felt good to learn something new.  I should mention that Ems dad wouldn't let me load the crossbow.  Apparently, he was afraid that I would somehow shoot a bow in my hand and require a trip to the hospital.  I was just happy that he was patient and stood there while I played with his toy.

Look at that!  This was on my third round of arrows.  It is so close to the blue triangle.  So close.  Perhaps next time I will make it in the center.

After being around my two good friends four days in a row if felt lonely when I came home.  My house was so empty and there was no one to talk to.  That feeling cements the fact that it was a super awesome weekend with super awesome people.  I love having friends that understand me and I understand them and we can all get along so well.  I couldn't think of a better way to spend four days.  Ok...one little thing was missing.  But she will come out again in the spring.

New Gym

A month ago I was able to get a free 30 day trial membership to a gym near my work.  I have a couple friends who utilize their facility as well as several co-workers.  My free membership was expiring this week so I decided to officially join tonight after my workout. 

Let me start by saying that I really HATE salespeople.  I often find them smarmy and not genuine.  I remember going to buy a car one time and telling my brother in advance that I wasn't going to talk to the salesperson.  It was his job to ask all of the questions and talk because I knew the salesperson would annoy me.  He did.

This particular gym has an entire staff of sales people in charge of getting new members and they are everything I dislike about salespeople.  I took a deep breath before I began this transaction but it didn't take long before it went downhill.


As we were walking to his office he looked at me and asked me when was the last time I worked out.  I gave him a blank stare and said that I didn't understand the question.  I didn't understand the question because I was wearing my bike shorts and athletic shirt and I just finished a 60 minute spinning class and 30 minutes of running and walking intervals.  I LOOKED like I just finished working out.  My hair was all wet from sweat and very messy.  My cheeks were pink from exertion and I was carrying a bag of my street clothes.  So...stupid or just unobservant?


I glossed over that question and we moved forward.  At one point he displayed the website that shows their extra fee services.  There was a listing of three classes.

1.  Team Boot Camp
2.  Team Fitness
3.  Team Weight Loss

He looked at the list and then he looked at me.  He then said that there are three options.  The first one was Boot Camp but that would probably be to hard for me.  The next is a group fitness class but he would suggest the Weight Loss class.

Um...WHAT!!!!  You know I am an easy going girl and I often let many things roll off my shoulders but this pissed me off. I know that I am overweight but I am not really used to such blatant rudeness from people in the industry to help fat people.  I sat there in shock for a minute and I told him I wasn't sure if I was interested in any of the classes and we moved on.

But the longer I thought of this incident the angrier I got.  WTF was wrong with him.  Was he just an idiot.  Is this how he talks to all of the overweight people. How can he look at me and decide that the Boot Camp class would be too hard?  He doesn't know my capabilities or my workout regime.  I am not interested in the Boot Camp class but I don't want him to tell me that I COULDN'T DO IT!  Fucker!!!!

I like the gym for their great group cycling classes and I finished my membership process but the gym is now tainted for me.

Parental Memories are Alive

This past weekend I went to Bloomington to see a John Mellencamp concert with a friend (KG) and her parents. Woo Hoo the concert was super super AWESOME!! Bloomington is about two hours from my house so KG parents invited us (me) to stay the night at their wonderful house in the country. This isn’t really part of my story but I would like to add that the view from the guest room was spectacular. Three of the walls were windows and none of them had curtains or shades. So the sun was very bright about 9am and it glistened off of the trees and the leaves on the ground. Later in the morning there was also several deer spotted in the yard.

Spending so much time with KG parents made me think of my deceased parents and feel a bit sad that they are both gone. I don't often think of my parents or the fun times spent with them but that has been on the forefront of my mind since I have come home. Because my parents have been gone for so long I am used to life without them and I often forget the “normal” things that parents do for the adult children they love.

Dad and his little brother Jim when they were young men.

There were several small things that happened that made me wish they were still here. One of them happened on Sunday morning. I was sitting on the couch watching a pre-football TV show and discussing football with KG dad. Honestly, I have just a tiny bit of football knowledge in my head and it was a short discussion. But it made me remember how much my dad LOVED football and how he would have relished sitting on the couch talking about that with me. He would have enjoyed seeing me take an interest in something that he liked as well as explaining the mundane details to me.

Doesn't he look fierce!

Another simple example was on Saturday night before the concert. We all went out to eat and the dad insisted on paying for my meal. I tried to pay but he wouldn’t have it. That is such a parent thing to do and it was nice to have someone pay for my meal as that rarely happens (I said rarely Lou…I am very thankful you took me out to the Melting Pot for my birthday).

Typical Mom with the permed hair and striped polo.  Yikes...do I dress like her?

I think some of these feeling started about a month ago when I stayed with Ems parents for the Great Pumpkin Metric weekend. One of the evenings we were there all of us sat around the kitchen table and played Mexican Train Domino's. I never played Domino's with my parents but some of the best memories of my parents included my mom, dad and I playing cards for hours. Apparently, my social life was much slower then and we spent many many evenings eating wings and playing Spades. Those are the memories that make me happy.

I liked seeing how each set of parents try to still take care of their respective daughters in small ways. They are grown women and treated as such but you can see how the parents love their daughters and want the best for them. These “normal” family times gave me many warm and fuzzies.

I spent about an hour going through many old photo albums and I couldn’t find one single picture of my mom, dad and I playing cards. I am sad that activity was never immortalized. However, I have included one of my favorite pictures of my dad, brother and I when I was a "sweet" little girl.

Look look....I am wearing a dress.

 ***I worked on this post on three separate occasions and each time there may have been liquid leaking out of my eyes.

I got Inked

 Earlier this summer I decided I wanted to get a tattoo.  A friend talked about wanting to get an additional tattoo and I immediately thought that I wanted one also.  I guess that means that I am a follower;)   I have one existing tattoo of a flower that I got about 12 years ago and I have always had a desire for an additional tattoo but I never felt passionate enough about anything to put it permanently on my body.  I found and embraced that passion this year.  

When I first thought about a tattoo I thought about getting something associated with Star Trek. The best thing I found was the insignia symbol on my boob.  Sexy huh.

Ohh...but I do kind of like this wrist thing.  Hmmmm....maybe my next one.

I began to think about my passion and how I would like to incorporate that into body art.  I started looking for bike tattoos that were feminine and that were not too utilitarian in style.  It took some time but I finally found some designs that I really liked.  After I chose the initial bike design I wanted to put something pretty around the bike. I found another tattoo that had some pretty leaf work and I considered merging the two designs into one tattoo.

The tattoo artist didn't especially like the "pretty" stuff I brought.  He decided he was going to stencil on the image of the bike and he then took creative licence with the vines and flowers.  This is the photo of him drawing the design on my leg.

I 

Eeek...the needle has pierced my skin.

I think it was a good thing that I wasn't close enough to really see what he was doing.

Look at those delightful swirls.  It is coming along.

Look Look Look I got a new tattoo this week.   Isn't it pretty (I say this with a goofy smile on my face).

Thanks to Ems for taking all of these photos as well as Metamorphosis in Broad Ripple for having a great staff.

How to tempt a fat girl….

I was sitting at my desk today with my stomach full of mini-burgers, onion straws, French fries and chocolate volcano cake feeling very (over) full and not at all thinking of food when my co-worker walked by with a bag full of candy. Friday is my companies annual Halloween celebration and on that day each department selects a theme and dresses up. In the morning everyone goes around to trick-or-treat at the other various departments and views their costumes and decorations. This year the company decided to provide the candy for each department several days in advance. Jerks!

Damn it, all that candy is going to sit in our communal supply cabinet all week. Each bag of candy is sealed and all afternoon I have tried to think of the best way to break into the bags and grab a few boxes of Dots. I don’t know why I am obsessed with the Dots when there is Peanut Butter Cups and all kinds of chocolate in the bags. But, I really really want the Dots.

I wonder if I could bring in a razor blade and slice open the end of the bag and then bring a lighter to seal it back up. This wouldn’t end badly…right?

Quitting is easy….continuing through the WIND is hard

Another Biking Event

Is it possible you are tired of reading about my biking antics?  Are you worn out from the gazillion miles I have ridden and how every ride is harder than the last.  Yep…this is going to be more of the same.

Last weekend I attended the Great Pumpkin Metric in Evansville.  My companions and I drove to Evansville on Saturday morning (this might be considered afternoon to most people but you know how I like to sleep in on the weekends) past many cornfields and I got to see a gigantic peach out in the middle of nowhere.  We spent a pleasant evening with Em’s parents and went to bed early.

Sunday morning dawned quite early…um 6:30…yuck and I was showered, dressed and at the breakfast table by 7am.  Em’s mom made us a delightful Egg sandwich and on my second bite I managed to squeeze out yellow egg into my hair.  I knew that was going to be an indicator of my upcoming day.

When we initially decided to attend the event we were all excited to do the 100K, but we did have a choice to do either 25K, 50K or 100K.  Em kept talking about changing our minds and taking a shorter route but Z was determined to stay on course.  I think I could have been swayed to go the shorter route if that was the group opinion but Z never waffled/wavered so we stuck with the original plan of 100K.  BTW..100K is 62 miles.  That is right, 62miles on my bike.  Every time I even think about that distance it sounds slightly impossible.

The day was cold and windy and cold and windy.  I knew soon after we started that it was going to be a long and tough ride.  The temperature was 40 degrees when we departed and I heard that it warmed up but I never felt an increase in temperature.  There was some nice hills in the beginning and it helped my legs to get warmed up.  I arrived at the first SAG stop shortly after Em and Z and I was glad to see them again as I was worried they may have missed a turn.  The first stop was about 12 miles into the course and while I was snacking I took a look at the sheet and made a mental note of the upcoming stops.  One at 27 miles, 40 miles, 53 miles and then the end. 

We started the second stage and I quickly lost my companions.   The wind was pushing me back so I put my head down and I kept pedaling as I knew that it was going to take a ton of mental toughness to finish the event.  I wanted to finish.  I wasn’t interested in quitting.  Let me say this again I WASN’T GOING TO QUIT!  I just kept pushing up and down and during this stage my speed slowed down and I found what ended up being my consistent cadence for the next 50 miles.

When we hit the second stop at 27 miles I was exhausted.  There was a gigantic hill just before the stop that was .2 mile long.  I know that this doesn’t sound long but when you are almost climbing vertically it appeared to be never ending.  I think Z told me it was the equivalent to 3 football fields in length.  As I saw it I shook my head and I realized that I didn’t have enough strength to try and power it up to the top.  I gave a token effort and then I decided to walk the rest of the way.  Let me say that is was hard work to even walk to the top of the hill.  I was very out of breath and fatigued.  When I made it to the SAG stop I got my snack of trail mix and Gatorade and collapsed on the ground until I was told it was time to move again.

I kept up with my two friends for about half of the next section until we reached a hill and my legs told me that it was already too much for them to push through the hurricane like winds and they objected to a hill climb as well.  I didn’t walk up this hill but I stopped at the base and caught my breath and then about half way up I stopped again.  My legs just weren’t interested in moving.  I hadn’t realized that there was someone riding behind me when I stopped.  Oops my bad.  He got around me but it was a close call.  I made it to the top and I kept pedaling and pedaling and pedaling. 

It was about this time that I needed a distraction and I decided singing would help me.  The problem with singing is when I bike and I am working so hard that I close my mind to other things. It is in a blank gooey slate.  No talking, no daydreaming and no thinking.  Just existing.  So when I decided to sing I had a hard time thinking of songs.  The only song I could think of was “Darling Nikki” by Prince.  Seriously…I just kept singing it over and over.

As I was about to arrive at the next Sag stop at mile 40 I considered collapsing next to my bike until it was time to leave again.  I imagined that it was all I could do.  Since I was worried that my companions would insist that I take a van back to the start and not finish I chose to stay vertical and not give them any indication that I couldn’t continue.  So I arrived and pretended to be OK.  I wasn’t.  Then I had work to do.  They had a big banner set up that you could paint on.  I was only capable of writing my name as my brain was mush.  I pushed some food in my mouth and waited for my friends to tell me that rest time was over.  This sag stop only had people who were doing the 100K and I felt that there was some nice camaraderie while we were there.  Everyone looked extremely exhausted from the wind and grateful for a break.  I talked to a few people and then we pushed off.

As I was riding I kept looking at my odometer and wishing that it would move forward faster.  I wanted the miles to go by.  I was soooo tired.  My legs were only moving because my brain was yelling at them.  Do it..push…do it…push.  I was feeling miserable and tired and alone and about seven miles into this stage I saw a mirage.  It was my two friends on the side of the road waiting for me.  But it wasn’t a mirage they were really there.  I was so happy to see my people.  As soon as I arrived I told both of them I was so happy to see them and I wanted to give them great big hugs but I would refrain because I was dirty.  I guess I get a bit emotional when I am spent.  It really helped me have a change of attitude and increased my spirit to see them.  It gave me the drive to continue on to the next stop.  It was only 7 miles away.  Push…move my legs up and down…push the pedal.  Damn…it was hard but I was determined to finish.

Mile 53 eventually hit my odometer I arrived at the final SAG stop.  I saw the most beautiful thing as I was riding in.  CHAIRS!!!!  It was the best site ever.  I went to the food table and I loaded up.  I had cookies, chips, Gatorade, and some other stuff.  All I remember is I had a lap full of food to consume and I was starving.  I didn’t wear my heart rate monitor but I suspect that I burned about 3000 calories during the ride.  As usual the rest break was short and it was very hard to pick myself up from the chair.  Em looked at me and asked if I was was oK…I said yes…and then she said are you sure and then I said No.  But what could I do.  I was determined to finish and I wasn't going to wash out.  I DID NOT want to be driven back to the beginning at mile 53.  I would have hated that and I would have been a bear to live with.  I would have moaned about quitting and failing.  I am sure that would have put a damper on the weekend.

Soon the three of us reluctantly started the final portion of our long journey.  It took forever to finish.  The three of us stayed fairly close together for this last 10 miles and I think it helped push me forward.  Conversation was minimal and our only thoughts were of the finish line.  The best site all day was the sign for the Vanderburgh 4-H center.  I was so happy to be at the end and still on my bike.  When I got off my bike I jumped up and down with joy and gave everyone a high 5.  The day was a success.  Even though this was the most grueling ride to date the satisfaction I felt when we were done was surprising. I felt like I could do anything at that moment.  I finished the ride in 5 hours and 45 minutes for 66 miles. That was a long ass time to be on my bike.   

I got to wear this pinned to my back for the entire biking event.  On occasion someone would come by me and say my name and then I had to try and figure out if I knew them.  Nope...it was just friendliness.

Because he was Pretty

Humiliation is a humbling thing.  Especially when it happens to me.  This is a story of the worst possible pick up line in the history of pick up lines.

I was at a bike event on Saturday riding next to my companion and we were very close to the end when a very cute man passed by us.  I waved and said hi to him.  I was a bit taken aback and I even commented to my friend that I thought he was super cute.  This is something that I rarely comment on.  I see it and notice it but I don’t usually vocalize my appreciation.

A while later we had finished the ride and there was three of us sitting at the end of two tables enjoying our lunch.  We were talking and having fun when the cute man sat at the table next to us.  I should mention that two of us were at one table and the other person in my group was at the second table.  So my position in the chair was facing the other table. 

This is where my companions lost me in the conversation.  I just kept staring at the guy.  Creepy right?  I sat there trying to come up with an opening line.  Apparently, my brain lost its power to process information the longer I looked at him.  During my five minutes of contemplation I am sure I "appeared" to be interested in my conversation but right now I have no idea what we were talking about.  Bad Candy.  Sooo...finally there was a lull in the conversation and I had an opportunity to ask the cute man a question.  

Wait for it...this is it.  Eeek...this is really embarrassing to say out loud....ok...ok..

"Can you tell me about the charity on your jersey, living strong....I read a blogger called Fat Cyclist that is often advertising for them."

Soooo...there was about 3 seconds of shocked silence and then gigantic bursts of laughter from both of my companions.  I am pretty sure one of them was almost rolling on the ground in hysterics.

The pretty man mentioned that it was Lance Armstrong's charity (you know America's most famous cyclist) for cancer.

OMG..OMG..OMG..OMG..OMG..OMG

Then he motioned to the yellow wrist bands that he was wearing.  

  How could I possibly ask a stranger at a cycling event such a absurd question.  What the F is wrong with me.  The worst part was that I didn't really know the answer.

After this my friends closed the circle again and I really never had another opportunity to talk to the cute man.  There was no recovery.  Couldn't one of my friends help me out?  They were terrible wing men.  I need to train them better.  Or myself.

So it is quite apparent that I have no game.  I would even say that I have a -8 game.  That bad.  Why couldn't I ask some simple questions like:

How was your ride today?

How many poker cards did you get?

How long have you been cycling?

I told this story to a friend today and she offered to make me some index cards with appropriate questions for future events.  With my luck I would do something even worse like pull them out and read off of them.

I did learn two lessons on Saturday.  #1.  Keep it simple and don't think too much.  Act normal and ask normal questions.  #2.  I am now somewhat knowledgeable about livestrong.org.

***While I was writing this entry the song "Where Was My Brain" by Ted Leo and the Pharmacists played on my iTunes.  Irony at its best.

Don’t give up don’t quit don’t do it…don’t give up don’t quit don’t do it

I went on an organized bike ride a couple weeks ago with a group of friends to Harrodsburg, Indiana.  I was wavering back and forth about going and the decision wasn’t made until 9:30pm on Friday night and I had to be a friend’s house by 8am the next morning.  I am so glad I made the decision to go.  This ride was a bit South of Bloomington and a bit North of Bedford.  Basically, hilly country.

There were three routes we could choose, hard, harder and almost impossible.  I chose to go on the route with the group….guess what they chose.  That is right, Almost Impossible.  Sigh! 

There were five of us on this epic adventure.  I didn’t know what to expect when we left the start area and I am sure that was a good thing.  I just thought it was going to be your average 30 mile bike ride.  Not so, as I quickly learned.  The first three miles were eye opening.  Horrible.  Terrible.  Hard.  I mean really really hard.   What I mean by hard was a constant up and down.  There were no flatland.  Just long uphill’s and exhilarating downhill’s.  But honestly, all I remember are the uphill’s.  Those are the rides where I wished I had a fancy GPS cycleometer and it could tell me my total ascent.  But I don’t have that cool toy yet so you just have to believe me when I say there was zero flatland.

After the first three miles I resigned myself to the remaining 27 hard miles.  I just kept pedaling up and down and up and down.  I had assumed that the group was going to drop me quickly as I am a slow hill climber.  Not so…I would always find them waiting patiently(??) for me at the bottom of  descents or the crest of a hill.  I was always happy to see them in the distance and have a reason to keep moving forward.

There was a very awesome downhill section that allowed me to get my bike to 36mph.  Seriously…36mph.  The adrenalin was so worth the tough ascents.  I loved it.  Flying down the road at my top speed and enjoying the wind in my face and the carefree attitude of someone who thinks she is invincible.  I know this isn’t true but I still feel that I am.  Emotions have no logic.

Soon after the awesome downhill section I found the first hill that made me want to quit and cry.  It wasn’t particularly steep but just long.  It went on forever.  I kept telling myself to pedal. Turn the crank.  Move my feet.  The little cheerleader in my head kept repeating: “You can do it.  You can do it.  You cannot quit and walk.  You can do it.”  And I did.  I made it up the hill and I was so excited.  Spent but happy to be done.

Somewhere after the start of the ride one of my companions discovered that there was no sag stops on this ride.  None!  I don’t think anyone was prepared for this to happen.  I forgot my water bottles and thankfully someone loaned me theirs.  I brought no food and I ate a small breakfast.  The lack of food was a real problem around mile 20.  My body wanted it and I had none to give it.  This is where things began to go wrong.

We got to a beautiful section of the ride that crossed the dam.  It was pretty and we got this picture.  We took a little reprieve with little knowledge of what was in our immediate future.  We turned a corner and discovered a mountain in front of us.  I am not making this up, it was a mountain.  I found out later that cycling groups use this hill as training and they call it the “alps”.  W.  I knew quickly that there was ZERO chance of me making it up this hill so I hopped off my bike and I started walking up.  Walking..walking…walking.  It kicked my ass to walk up this hill.  I was breathing hard and my heart rate was very elevated.  I think three of the five members were able to ride up the hill. Kudos to them as it was not my time.

The last 10 miles were a blur to me.  I just kept telling myself to keep going.  My body was so done.  But as I never saw one sag wagon the only way back to my car was on my bike.  So I kept going.  At one point E rode up next to me and started a conversation.  I was talking but breathing really hard.  Really I think I was gasping and it was a little hill by comparison but I was spent.  He looked at me and told me it was OK to take a break.  It never occurred to me to take my own break. I was always concerned that the group was waiting on me and I didn’t want to hold them up.  I took a little break and it helped.  The little hill didn’t feel nearly as tough when I gave my heart and legs a bit of a rest.

There was one other hill that I walked up.  I don’t think it would have been too tough on a normal day but I was d-u-n.  There wasn’t much left in me.  I just pushed the bike up the hill and rode it down.  Close to the end we passed by a gas station and we could smell fried chicken.  OMG…it sounded so good.  I wanted to go in and stuff my face but I refrained and we kept going to the end. 

We parked about a mile from the building so after we ate we still had to haul ourselves back to the car and damn, it was uphill.  Suck!  But I made it back.  It was a good but very challenging day.  I had never been on a ride of that type and it was nice to challenge myself.  It felt good to know what I am(was) capable of doing when I set my mind to it.

Conversations

I went clothes shopping yesterday and I had the following exchange with a stranger as we were paying for our items.

S:  I really want this DKNY gray sweater.
C:  It is divine isn't it.  You should buy it.  I am getting one.
S:  Um...did you see the price.
C:  No, I didn't look at the price on any of my choices.
S:  You might want to take a look.
C:  Eeek....it is $89.
S:  Now  you see my dilemma.
C:  I still think it is beautiful and you should buy it.

Seriously.  Do I think I am a Rockefeller?  I didn't look at the price and apparently I didn't care as I still bought the item.  In my defense I had several 50% off coupons so the bottom line price was actually $44.  That was a much more palatable price.

OMG...is it awesome!

Last week brother Lou came over to see little Jadzia and we had the following conversation about my old iPod.

L:  What are you doing with your old iPod?
C:  What?  It's mine.
L:  I know whose it is but I was wondering what you were doing with it.
C:  You CAN'T have it.
L:  But, you are not using it.
C:  It doesn't matter how much I use it.  It is mine.
L:  Seriously,  you have a shiny new one.
C:  It doesn't matter as it is MINE and I am not sharing.

I assure you that old iPod is still on my coffee table.  Apparently, I have a bit of an attachment to it;)

Vacation Debate

I have two vacation opportunities for 2011. I want to do both but I know I cannot afford both as well as I don’t have enough vacation time. It is time to make a decision. The first opportunity popped up a few weeks ago and it is a trip to Australia and New Zealand with my university. The second trip would be a weeklong visit to Paris with a friend. Both trips are very appealing to me and they each have pro’s and con’s.

Paris

Pro’s
Really dig into the Parisian culture

Pastries
Cycling around the city
Only 5 days of vacation
Time spent with an old friend

Con’s
Not a new vacation
$3000 max (much better than Australia…and I am not sure if this should be a Pro or a Con)

Australia/New Zealand

Pro’s
Kangaroos
The Great Barrier Reef
Surfing

This could be me in 2011

Cute Australian men with heart fluttering accents
Guided
Business Visits
Great company
New New New

Con’s
$5500 or more….
10 days of vacation at once

Every time I look at the lists my natural inclination is to say F*uck it and go to Australia. But the really big problem is the money. I have been making some progress with my finances this year and I have been working my way out of credit card debt. This kind of trip could set me back. I have thought though a plan to pay for this trip with cash but it doesn’t quite cover it. It would require me to be disciplined, and let’s face it that isn’t my strongest asset. I would have to take every penny that the roommate gives me and diligently pay down my credit card each month. This gains me about $4000 by the time of the trip. So I would also need to keep up the discipline for several months after the trip as well as mentally committing to keeping the roommate for at least another year. Is living alone again worth skipping a super awesome trip? IDK…

I have been to Paris twice in the last ten years and just like NYC it garners multiple visits. I am sure that the city has many things that I haven’t seen and experienced. Taking a full week there would immerse me in the culture and allow me to really feel the city. The friend who wants to go is fluent in French and she has lived there on multiple occasions. We travel well together and have very similar ideas about what makes a great vacation. This would be a nice alternative to going to Australia and it would be significantly cheaper. It would take me much less discipline to pay for this trip with cash and I know I would enjoy the time with my friend and the time in the great city.

Honestly, I am really leaning towards Australia and I guess I am trying to decide if I want to be boring and responsible with my money or live a little reckless on the financial side.

Meet Jadzia

I have a new kitten. Isn’t she precious. She is so cute and full of energy. She runs around the house with no fear and she thinks she is invincible. I have to wonder if this in innate in kittens or if I have worn off on her.
I got her a week and a half ago and she has dramatically increased my pet work time. She makes messes and needs constant attention. The very first night I took her home I was laying on my bed and she was sitting on my neck. She got up and walked across my chest and hopped off onto the bed. She got close to my side and I thought she was trying to cuddle with me. Not So! She decided that was a great place to take a shit. When she was done she hopped up on me and tried to get back on my neck. Let me point put that this wasn’t ordinary shit…it was diarrhea shit. Gross!!!!!!!

I picked her up and quickly got out of bed and I realized my shirt and hands were covered in kitten poo. I took us both to the bathroom and I sat her on the counter and I pulled off my shirt. I wiped my hands and I tried to wipe Jadzias feet and tail off. I had already decided that the shirt was going to be a causality to this situation. I turned on the water to rinse off my hands and that damn kitten wondered off and fell off the counter on the side by the toilet to where the cleaning supplies are kept. Eeek..little Jadzia was fragile and I was worried that she was hurt. Then I noticed the shit on the wall and toilet and floor. The mess was getting worse and not better. BTW…she was fine. Apparently, she is ok with falling 3 feet.

I managed to get her and I cleaned up and I walked over to my bed to assess the situation. It was disgusting. By the way I was reading a book when this occurred and it suffered some damage. Since I was really enjoying the book I decided to try and clean the pages in lieu of tossing it. I picked it all up and donned a clean shirt as I didn’t think my roommate would appreciate the topless look and headed off to the washer. The roommate found this situation hysterical and couldn’t stop laughing. I guess it was the look of disgust on my face. I only have two sets of sheets for my bed, winter flannel sheets and regular sheets. I had to make do with the hot flannel sheets for the night. Shortly thereafter Jadzia got relegated to the bathroom for my evening sleep.

The next day when I got home Jadzia was so happy to see me. She kept squeaking and meowing and saying Hi. I had put her on a cat milk supplement and I soaked her food in it to soften it up to make it easier for her to eat. I sat it down and she ate half of it and a bit later I realized that Sparks had helped himself to what she didn’t eat. Big Fing mistake!!! About an hour or so later I went back to my room to get something I saw a vomit trail. Apparently the kitties milk was just a tad too rich for Spark’s tummy and he vomited everywhere. The floor and my BED! Seriously, my bed was defiled for the second time in two days. Plus I had just removed the sheets from the dryer. At least I could remove the hot flannel sheets from my bed. Everything went into the laundry and the floor was cleaned with the mini carpet cleaner.

Apparently, I am not able to learn my lesson. The next day I gave Jadzia her milk and food and again left her unattended and Sparks had himself a feast. And again he vomited on my bed and floor. At this point I felt like I was living in a hotel and I was the maid as I had to change my bed so many times. Seriously, I couldn’t keep the sheets clean. Thankfully, that was the last vomit incident and things have quieted down a bit at my house. Everyone is getting along well and we are all existing in peace and harmony.

That is until Jadzia uses my nose as a ladder to my head with her claws. Damn that hurt!

Sometimes Stupid Things Come Out of my Mouth

Do you ever say something you regret? Like instantly…the moment it leaves your lips. I often say things that I slightly regret and I can live with that, but on Saturday I really put my foot in my mouth.
I was at a biking party with several friends and tons of people I didn’t know. Most of the unknowns were family members of the host/hostess. I talked to many of them and I was friendly and outgoing. But, I just couldn’t (didn’t try) remember their names.

Sometime in the afternoon I was having a conversation with SH and I was complimenting her on her ability to learn all of the family members names. I was impressed as I never do that. Then it happened. I said what I was really thinking. Ok…here goes.

“I don’t try to remember all of the new people’s names because I don’t want to fill up my brain with useless information.”

Apparently names = useless information to me.

I seriously said that out-loud in a room full of people. Eeek….I am sure this was one of those times where I should have kept the thought to myself. I immediately regretted saying the words and I looked around to see if there was any reactions beyond the specific person I was talking to. I didn’t see anyone giving me a mean stare but my face immediately showed my regret and shock at the horrible thing I just said. The person I was talking to also indicated that it was an out of line remark. Sigh….I hate it when my mouth gets me into trouble. I detected no repercussions from this except my complete embarrassment.

Soo…this is actually what I think and why I don’t try to remember other people’s names when they are not a part of my life. I remember the first two years I belonged to my book club and I only knew a few people’s names. I just didn’t make a connection with anyone outside of a small subgroup and therefore, I didn’t remember the details about the other members. I think I finally made a conscious decision two years into the group that it was necessary for me to remember everyone’s names and I committed them to my brain.

I find myself doing this at work also. I am part of many committees and a few months ago my job was to greet the employees as they walked into the room and put their names on a raffle ticket. You can only imagine how that turned out for me. Yes…hugely embarrassing. The bad thing is almost everyone knows who I am and my name.

I have asked myself if I want to change this behavior. The answer is no. I feel a bit guilty saying so but I am not sure I really want to take the time to memorize all of the names of the people I meet. Even if I have a conversation with them I am not sure I see the point in remembering their name if I am never going to talk to them again. I guess I don’t know if I am “never” going to talk to them again but I can make and assumption.

What do you think? How do you view this topic? Do you remember the names of people when you meet them?

America's Next Top Model I am NOT

I bit the bullet today and decided to purchase some new clothes.  I abhor clothes shopping and I try to avoid stores at all costs.  Drop me off at an electronics store and I am in heaven.  Give me an invitation to the mall and I begin to have a stomach ache.

I started this adventure on Friday afternoon.  I stopped by The Avenue after lunch and I tried on six pairs of jeans, four pairs of dress pants and a pair of shoes and I left the store with ZERO items.  I just will not spend my money on something unless I really like the way it looks. If there is anything about the garment that bothers me, I leave it in the store.  So...no purchases.  Boo!!!

Today I decided to visit Lane Bryant and I put my mind to finding items that fit my style and were comfortable as well as functional.  I was in that store forever.  I believe it was three hours.  By the time I left I was on a first name basis with two of the employees and one of them gave me a hug as I left.  Seriously...the employee gave me a hug.  I guess I made her day.

When I first arrived I wondered around lost and I tried on several things with no luck.  Then I met X.  I explained to her my aversion to shopping and left to my own I would leave with plain jeans and t-shirts.  I knew that wasn't what I needed so I asked her for help.  She took me around the store and began to build me outfits.  She explained to me the wonder that is layering.  I have never done that before.  W.  Having the employee help me was like having my own personal shopper.  What an awesome experience. 

This top was off of the clearance rack and as soon as I saw it I thought of Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island.  This was the middle of the photo shoot and I was getting a bit silly.  I never knew what to do with my hands so I began to act like the women on The Price is Right.  I really don't know why the wooden cat is in the picture except that I couldn't get Sparks to cooperate with me.

This is an example of the layering.  The blue top is sleeveless and is very light so I shouldn't get hot in this outfit in the cooler months.  BTW...this is one of the rare occasion where you get to see me in heels.  I bet most of you never knew that I even owned any shoes with high heels.

This is my second favorite outfit.  I really like this jean jacket and it brings back memories of high school and my desire to own the perfect jean jacket.  I don't think I ever owned the perfect jacket as those came at a price that was just too dear for my HS income.

This is the first thing she brought me and by far my favorite outfit.  Look at those silver buttons.  Awesome!  Did you notice the brown shoes peaking out of the jeans?  What do you think?  Do they match?

Before I put all of my fabulous new clothes away I decided to do a major closet clean out.  The underlying reason for the shopping was that most of my clothes no longer fit.  They just hang off of me.  Woot!  I was in deliberation for some time as to the final resting place of these unflattering apparel.  Then I decided, F*uck It!  Get rid of it all!  I no longer need it and it should all make its way to the Goodwill.  I sincerely hope that I will not regret this decision.  In case you cannot tell this is close to three laundry baskets full of stuff.

I am not going to tell you how much money I spent, but I am pretty sure the manager of Lane Bryant is very happy today.  This was the most money I have every spent at one time on clothes.

Conversation with Sparks after Book Club

S: Dude! Did that really just happen?

C: (Innocent sounding) What?

S: The last five minutes of pure torture!

C: Um…..I guess it did.

S: When I was hiding under the bed, why would you poke at me with that long stick?

C: Cause I needed to get to you.

S: When I hide under the bed it means…STAY AWAY FROM ME!

S: When you pushed me out from under the bed with that dumb long stick I quickly got under the couch. Why couldn’t you just leave me there?

C: Again…I needed to get you.

S: Then this strange lady starts to poke at me and the only place I have left to hide is the bathroom. I know that was a weak place to hide but that was all I had left. There were tall people everywhere. Why were they in my room.

C: They were there to try and help me clip your nails.

S: (Most disdainful voice) I do not NEED assistance with my personal grooming. I am fully grown. I don’t see anyone clipping your nails.

C: That is because I have opposable thumbs and I can hold the clippers.

S: I know the bathroom was a weak place to hide, but why did you pick me up and hand me over to the mean lady.  Wasn't she was the one who poked me with needles last month? I don’t like here and I NEVER want her in my room again.

C: She was helping. She snuggled with you real nice while A trimmed your nails.

S: I do not call that snuggling. That was suffocation.

C: Look at how nice your back paws look. They did a great job. I know there is one nail that didn’t get cut but that just gives you character.

S: I guess I will have to rub that on the side of the leather couch until it matches my other nails. (Revengeful meows escape)

Blunt Force Trauma

OMG…I had an epic biking accident on Monday night.  I decided to do a difficult route by myself in the evening and midway through the ride things went terribly wrong.  The problem came when I got to the bottom of the second hill in a series of three back to back hills.  I was having a hard time down shifting into gear 1.   I rode around in some driveways while I tried to resolve the problem and I finally managed to get in the proper gear.  A few moments later I got to the end of the hill Spur, I turned around and rested for a few minutes before doing it all over again.

I started off strong and I flew down the first hill and then I started to make my way up the second hill and then bam!  My chain popped and I started to fall.  I tried to remove my cleat from the pedal, but it all happened so fast I wasn’t able to remove it and I began to descend to the ground.  Then the real issue occurred.  My handlebars began to turn sideways and I ended up taking the brunt of the fall into the blunt end of my handlebar.  I got hit in the center of my chest on my ribcage.  I took a photo but I decided I really didn't want to post it;)

All the wind went out of my body.  I could hardly breathe and I almost vomited.  I held that back but I was defiantly dazed.  I sat on the pavement for a few minutes and tried to clear my head.  I was in shock at how painful the fall was.  All of my prior falls involved hitting my knee and elbow.  Those were both painful but I was able to recover quickly.  This was not a quick recovery.

I stood up and tested out my body.  I waked around and despite the intense pain in my chest I didn’t think I broke anything.  I decided to check out my bike.  I got the chain back on but the gears no longer worked properly and my rear brake was stuck on.  Eeek!   I managed to get the brakes unstuck but I could tell that it was no longer quite right.  I felt that the bike was damaged but it could endure the ride back to my car.

Did I mention that I was in the middle of my ride and 12 miles from my car.  I picked up my bike and I started pushing it up and down the remaining hills as I was no longer interested in climbing them on my bike.  I considered calling someone to come and rescue me but I quickly dismissed that idea.  I didn’t want to be a burden to anyone and I thought it would be silly to wait for someone to come and get me.  I knew my brother was busy with his children and he probably didn’t have the time to come and get me.

I believe this was the biggest mistake of the day.  I never should have decided to ride back to my car.  I was in pain and my bike was in pain.  This was the time to call in a favor and ask for help.  I seriously hate asking for help.  I had already felt like I called in a favor three days before that when I discovered a flat tire the night before an important bike event.  Also, I wasn’t convinced that I knew how to tell someone where I was.  I knew the route on my bike but I didn’t know it by car and I wasn’t sure of road names.

Being an independent and single women I have learned to rely on myself, even when in duress.  I just never want to bother anyone with a real or imagined crisis.  I also wasn't sure this was a real crisis.  Duh it was but at the time I just thought I would deal with the pain until I got home.  I did and it worked out but it wasn't the best decision.

As I was driving home I pondered the necessity of visiting an ER.  I called my friend GH who is a nurse and an EMT and I enlisted her medical advise.  She told me I probably bruised ribs and doctors don't have a remedy for that injury.  The biggest worry I had was weather or not I had an internal injury.  She gave the waring signs and I promised I would get to an ER pronto if I had any of them. Thankfully, there has been no warning signs and I appear to be on the mend.  Today was the turning point where I really began to feel better.

Whoop!  Today was also the day I got my bike back from the repair shop.  I messed up the brakes, bent the derailleur, bent the handle bars and the wheels were out of alignment.  $60 later and she is all fixed up.

I think I learned an important lesson from this accident.  Call for help when I need it.  Don't be brave or think  an accident is minor. It is more important to be safe than sorry later.