I am sick of buying gifts. I attended my nieces graduation in Wisconsin this weekend and I was in total denial of the occasion and I didn't want to purchase a gift. You see, I have eleven nieces and nephews, three in-laws, three siblings and a myriad of friends. I just don't want to spend the money anymore. I am not sure what to do to lower this cost without being considered cheap.
I would like to get them all Birthday, Christmas, Graduation and Confirmation gifts, but there are way too many children. I want to stop the madness. I wish I was more creative and I could make them things, but that is not my gift. Instead of buying them gifts on their birthdays, I can spend time with the ones that live here, but what about the ones that live out of town.
I headed out for the weekend with no gift in mind and no card. I occasionally thought about it on Saturday and Sunday morning, but I took no action to purchase a gift or get a card. Finally, after the graduation ceremony I decided to stop at a drug store to get a card and I was going to include a check for $50, but I was still feeling resentful about giving her the money. I knew it just wasn't in my budget. At the last minute I decided not to give her money but to give her a pair a diamond earrings that I have in my gift closet. I felt that this was a good resolution and I told her I would give them to her when they come for a visit over the July 4th holiday.
I found a way to resolve this gift giving occasion without spending money, but what do I do for the next birthday? Any ideas?
9 comments:
Well, I do understand making choices about what to gift people. It becomes overwhelming sometimes to think about where to draw the line on extended family. I decided a couple of years ago to stop buying gifts just to buy a gift for someone. I really think that it should have some thought. Even if the thought is a gift card to someones most favorite restaurant. Deciding how much money to spend is a whole seperate issue. How do you let your economic situation on one given day dictate how you distribute a years worth of gift giving. So if you are feeling broke today because you just...say for instance spent 4500 or so on a vacation it is reasonable to see how today one may feel it difficult to come up with additional money for a gift. The end idea of a gift is to celebrate the occasion with someone and hopefully give them something meaningful for the given occasion. I think the long lasting value of the earings was a perfect gift choice for this occasion. I do however feel that you gave this to her because they had no value to you and you felt guilty about providing her with some token of your financial status.
For my girls an idea about gift giving that is cheap and thinking outside the box would be to do things like giving them a gift certificate to spend the night over at your house to watch a movie and bake cookies or make homeade ice cream sundaes with all of the fixins. It doesnt always have to be about the money but I think it needs to be more about your motivation behind giving the gift.
If those earrings are anything like the ones you gave to Carrie and me, she should love them! That was a swell gift!
On birthdays, I give the little one $$ equal to their age. A 5 year old is delighted with $5.00 especially if you give 5 - $1.00 bills. To them, 5 ones is more than a five dollar bill. A 16 year old is appreciative of $16.00. At age 18 I give them $20.00 and after that, I send a card. I do give $50.00 for HS and $100.00 for college. I have 9 N & N and 13 great N & N and I am extremely close with them all. I stop holiday gifts with the out of state except for the ones that I am very close to. I had them stop also so it's a wash. Hope this helps.
LL
I think your issue here is with shopping, or rather your lack of shopping know-how. I recently ran in to this problem when I had to purchase a birthday gift for a friend that I don't know very well yet. I ended up finding a nice little beaded bracelet for $10 because I knew where to shop. The trick is to access what you do know about the person, and plan ahead for your shopping. I am definately someone who can help you with this. Also, I love, love, love anything made for me by the gift giver. You don't have to be crafty or a fabulous chef. Just find one thing that you are good at making (or practice at something until you become good at it) and give that as a gift. Soon, every recipient will want your specialty. It could be food, jewelry, etc. Oh, and I'm sorry, but personalized mixed cd's still rock in my book:).
I do love music...perhaps everyone is going to get a mixed CD this year.
DM
They are the same earrings.
Yep, go to bath and body works during the clearance event (I think right now) and buy up candles and lotion. I have a gift closet and it has tons of that stuff and that is what everyone gets. I also buy things I find great deals on like frames and other stuff so I have a loaded gift closet.
GH
Love this. I have 10 nieces and nephews and have the same issue. It cost to )^(*(&%($%%^ much. LOL. What about shopping ebay? Order a bunch of stuff and keep in your closet for future use. Goodwill also has good stuff some of which is new.
NE
I don't think you should worry about being considered cheap. You should figure out what your annual budget for gifts is, divide it among whatever recipients however you like, and let the others deal with it as they may.
You might need to set a couple of rules so that you don't start any (more) family fires, like no gifts for kids older than X or no gifts for anyone outside your generation. Other than that, though, it's up to you. Don't let other people pressure you into spending money.
Or time, for that matter. There are definitely things you can do for little or no cost and a reasonable amount of time that people will (or should) value, but keep in mind that your time is valuable too. If you give everyone a night/day/afternoon with you, that's what, 20 or 40 guaranteed events per year (birthday + Christmas), plus the less-common ones?
There's nothing wrong with expressing wishes to those you care about through a simple card, or even a note ... neither time nor materials need to be used to convey your feelings toward them, and if they feel otherwise, too bad.
I appreciate everyones input and opinions and I seriously never expected this much conversation, drama and emotion over four small paragraphs.
I do think that I like several of these ideas and I will put them into use in the future. I like the card idea with money to equal the ages as well as just spending time and showing love instead of paying for love.
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